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‘Care To Explain?’ Ask Conservative Parents After Finding Vaccine Card In Son’s Underwear Drawer

‘Care To Explain?’ Ask Conservative Parents After Finding Vaccine Card In Son’s Underwear Drawer

5/6/2021 9:04:00 PM

‘Care To Explain?’ Ask Conservative Parents After Finding Vaccine Card In Son’s Underwear Drawer

BELOIT, WI—Gasping sharply and demanding their son to report to his room this instant, conservative parents Justine and Stewart Taylor asked their son Thursday if he’d care to explain why there was a vaccine card hidden in his underwear drawer. “So, is there anything in particular that you’d like to tell us—or did you think we were stupid and just wouldn’t find out?” said Stewart, holding up his child’s inoculation records, squinting, and whispering, “Don’t lie to me, son,” as his wife sobbed quietly in the background. “Sixteen years of clothing you, feeding you, and loving you with all our hearts, and this is how you repay us? Just look at what you’ve done to your mother! She didn’t raise you to go off into some tent full of miscreants God knows where and inject this kind of terrible stuff into your body. I thought we taught you right, but you know, you’re just one more dose of Moderna or Pfizer from losing your mind, or worse, ending up in a ditch somewhere, dead.” At press time, the Taylors had reportedly thrown their son out onto the street with nothing but his masks and hand sanitizer after rolling up his sleeve to find a bandage. \n

BELOIT, WI—Gasping sharply and demanding their son to report to his room this instant, conservative parents Justine and Stewart Taylor asked their son Thursday if he’d care to explain why there was a vaccine card hidden in his underwear drawer. “So, is there anything in particular that you’d like to tell us—or did you think we were stupid

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and just wouldn’t find out?” said Stewart, holding up his child’s inoculation records, squinting, and whispering,“Don’t lie to me, son,” as his wife sobbed quietly in the background. “Sixteenyears of clothing you, feeding you, and loving you with all our hearts, and this is how you repay us? Just look at what you’ve done to your mother! She didn’t raise you to go off into some tent full of miscreants God knows where and inject this kind of terrible stuff into your body. I thought we taught you right, but you know, you’re just one more dose of Moderna or Pfizer from losing your mind, or worse, ending up in a ditch somewhere, dead.” At press time, the Taylors had reportedly thrown their son out onto the street with nothing but his masks and hand sanitizer after rolling up his sleeve to find a bandage.

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meat_pupp3t Why are conservatives mad that you might need a vaccine to do stuff when you need a Polio and Flu vaccine to attend kindergarten! Is getting vaccinated owning the conservatives? He tricked us all that time in the bathroom I thought he was injecting bleach, probing the flashlight in his orifice but no Johnnie was playing with his Johnson &Johnson

Fake ID got him running with a wild bunch into some crowded eateries. My grandparents choose to not get vaccinated but still want me & my sis to get it. They even said today’s vaccines aren’t as good as the old vaccines when we brought up why they vaccinated mom then many years ago. We’re so confused about them

tweetzydeetzy Did I miss the point where the onion became an actual news source? 💀💀💀 Onion steppin’ they shit up. The Bee been in that ass lately. You guys make me laugh so much 🤣😂and yet your news coverage is so accurate Please please please...I’ve asked many times. Please publish something funny again. I believe in you!

Slippery slope to herd immunity. OPadillaVelez 😂 This looks like Lauren Lapkus confronting Tom Holland.

Billy: “But Mom… being unvaccinated provides the virus with an exclusive opportunity to mutate. I’m doing my part to ensure public health & exit the pandemic” Mom: “Your father & I have profited during this pandemic… heck we almost overthrew democracy! DISAPPOINTMENT BILLY!” TheBabylonBee is way funnier and smarter

NickOrland0 elonmusk WholeMarsBlog They understand that the vaxx is a gateway drug to heavier drugs like Clorox, Hydroxychloriquine, or even Matt Gaetz How DARE you do what you feel is best! Me & your father didn’t raise you to be one of those rationale hippie liberals who put their faith in science. You will love Trump, Jesus, Reagan & Budweiser & in that order. Are we clear!

It's no joke. I had a woman change her beneficiary designation because her daughter got vaccinated. “Give me your AR-15” Pretty Borowitzy for the Onion imo.

Pfizer Madness So rebellious! They also found a strap on, but they were cool with it. Koneko_Boy_ her son, tom holland Are you taking drugs?!? THAT ARE APPROVED BY THE CDC?!? To up the drama, mom surprised her son by unfurling a roll of condoms he had hidden with some Planned Parenthood literature under a floor board.

'I WAS JUST HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND! I SWEAR!' A 19-year-old with the self-awareness not to have a baby would probably take better care of a baby than a 19-year-old with a baby. Inocullution is a beatch. Can't you just have promiscuous sex like the other boys?

😂😂😂😂 Is that Tom Holland? Full and actual LOL. Rebel!! Black sheep!!