Calf Annoyed By Mother Always Giving Guilt Trip About How Vet Had To Stick Chain Up Vagina To Pull Her Out

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GLADWIN, MI—Snapping tersely at her mom for once again bringing up her complicated labor, 10-month-old cow Honeybun expressed annoyance Wednesday that her mother was always giving her a guilt trip with the story of how the vet had to stick a chain up her vagina to pull her out. “Oh my god, I get it already, I’ve been trouble since day one when you had to spend six hours in labor with a man shoulder-deep in your birth canal,” said the heifer, adding that while she understood that having a cold, metal calf jack and a pair of 5-foot chains shoved up there wasn’t fun, she also didn’t appreciate it being used against her every time they argued. “Look, I know it sucked to give birth to me and that the vet and three of his assistants had to use their combined weight to yank me out, but I didn’t ask to be born. Sorry my brothers and sisters just kind of fell out of you directly onto the ground, maybe that’s why I’m such a bad child.” At press time, the cow had stormed off after her mother said she couldn’t wait until Honeybun had selfish, ungrateful calves of her own.

GLADWIN, MI—Snapping tersely at her mom for once again bringing up her complicated labor, 10-month-old cow Honeybun expressed annoyance Wednesday that her mother was always giving her a guilt trip with the story of how the vet had to stick a chain up her vagina to pull herwhen you had to spend six hours in labor with a man shoulder-deep in your birth canal,” said the heifer, adding that while she understood that having a cold, metal calf jack and a pair of...

t chains shoved up there wasn’t fun, she also didn’t appreciate it being used against her every time they argued. “Look, I know it sucked to give birth to me and that the vet and three of his assistants had to use their combined weight to yank me out, but I didn’t ask to be born. Sorry my brothers and sisters just kind of fell out of you directly onto the ground, maybe that’s why I’m such a bad child.” At press time, the cow had stormed off after her mother said she couldn’t wait until Honeybun had selfish, ungrateful calves of her own.

 

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99_canadian Holy crap your everywhere 😏

I lost my mom to covid complications 4 months ago. She was amazing & kind but man she could lay on the guilt thick! I miss it and her terribly. This post and comments helped me remember her with fond laughter instead of pain. Thank you all.

I love this. These city dudes have obviously been traumatized by watching gory miracle vet reality TV.

This one hits a little too close to home.

The calf is udderly heartbroken and just wants to moove on with their lives, no links from the past. The mother cow seems to be lethargic and low on energy. A result no doubt from decalfination.

The calf is udderly heartbroken and wants to moove away where there will no link to her past.

MixhselR Wouch! Lol

Really!

Been there, done that

Wholesome content

Ungrateful little ribeye.

Don't worry reality will come up with a way to make this happen.

Moral of the story- don’t have a cow.

I can't believe you actually found the perfect picture of an annoyed calf

poignant

Exactly. The calf could have just squirted out of the teats like all the rest. But no! This cow wanted to come out as meat instead of milk. So much easier to fill a cow shaped container with baby cow milk and let it harden into proper form.

Wait , what? DevinCow

Having grown up on a farm & the son of a master guilt tripper, I can relate.

I turn 48 in 2 days- and it wasn't but last night that my mom was complaining about the size of my head at birth.

I can relate to the calf because as an annoying kid, my mum’s favourite line was to be patient with her because she has been patient with me for 9 months & never asked me to leave her uterus. It worked.

Word🐮

DevinCow

....is that a thing?

😄😅😂🤣 NavalIntel Former3X WalkingOuija WIC 🕵️‍♂️

This is hard to relate to

Is that Thomas Brodie-Sangster?

the horror

That calf must be related to the Old Testament Elmers Glue bull.

Wow this psychology right here

You guys are seriously messed-up. 😂

I love you. That's why you need to feel guilty.

😳

Wait 'til she tells him what the vet did with his arm!

Most non farmers will be like wtf?

Someone has been watching Dr. Pol.

The Onion needs to hire a writer with a sense of humor.

Ungrateful calf ruined Elsie's life. She could have been a dancer.

Don’t worry bro my mom does the same thing to me

Hahahahahahah I feel seen

Omfglol

thanksgiving 2012 all over again

It's never fully recovered

This is so relatable.

damn

Adorable picture

So my mom wasn’t the only one who used the “chain to pull you out” line? empathy

kay__309 starsjustbe Nda_wa_na

Breaking News: Rancher ghostsed Cow after artificial insemination. Now Cow is suing for full custody and child support. Cow quoted saying 'MOOOO!'. Rancher had no comment.

wally_polischuk Did you guys invent devin nunes ? Can you disinvent him ? Please !

SeeTheGrow1

Elder explained her mother told her, back in her hay day women carried razors in their wha whaas. Elder's story seems to clear the room of men accordingly

tvkuume16 Shumba_chikarah IsraelWetuu Dankii23

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