BREAKING: Drunk Teen Going 100 MPH Down Slick Highway Is Invincible

PALMDALE, CA—With one hand on the wheel and the other turning up a radio blasting Black Flag’s “Rise Above,” the drunk 17-year-old currently driving a convertible at 100 miles per hour down a slippery patch of California State Route 138 is utterly invincible, sources have confirmed.

“Nothing can stop me—I’m going to live forever!” slurred the fast-living, indestructible teen, swerving his father’s BMW through the torrential rain and accelerating down the winding mountain highway. “I’ll be young forever, too. ’Cause I play by myset of rules.” The immortal being then reportedly sneered as he locked eyes with his own reflection in the rearview mirror, pressed harder on the gas, and approached a sharp bend in the road.

He sure is , for a good 5 or 6 seconds.

'I Am INVINCIBLE!' Shouts Area Teen In Questionable Russian Accent

Plot twist, he killed a kid.

Not braking news

that dude is 34

SLOW DOWN MonteCristo

you photoshopped my motorcycle out..?

Why does he look like that one esports commentator

But the pedestrians aren't :]

LOL, good one. Trying to pass that very much grown man off as a teenager, your best knee-slapper ever.

He knows that if you fishtail right, you steer right ;)

Fuck yeah!

Drunk teen going 100 MPH on highway is sure that he is invincible. Stoned teen sitting on couch is sure that going to the corner store to buy more chips is just too complicated.

Area Teen Shouts 'Yes! I Am Invincible!' In Fake Russian Accent

As he should be

Of course he's invincible. He activated the Omega Device.

Dunk teen looks like he's in his mid 20s.

kaipist0ls

Asyrus87

19 yr old me

Indestructible Teens is a good band name

Plus he’s going to finally lose his virginity as soon he gets to his sister’s friend’s house.

Was it a Scion TC?

meirl 35 years ago. Mea culpa!

He hesitated before getting in the car but then he saw a Nike T-shirt.

An unidentified individual closely related to this story, quoted the drunk teen as having said 'this is my step-dad's car' prior to the event.

Playing Pat Benatar.

i thought that was montecristo

Fucking legend

Hope he was checking Facebook, too.

Guess what his car's gonna do next

This hits close to home. Just like that kid that died senior year.

His hidden weakness? Trees.

prolix64_ this u

god I can't believe I lived to be the age I am today

Not without his blindfold on

Best of luck to him

That invincibility continues until you're 31, right?

Why didn’t you put a pic of a teen tho? This dude like 43

hes just like me fr

Twenty one , half drunk and invincible; best feeling in the world “ Hunter Thompson “

Relateable

it's these goddamn drunk crashers that give us saintly drunk drivers a bad rep

It’s just science.

So glad I survived long enough to start getting old... I did love that Camaro...

schneidddder

drewisgooden i thought this was you

MonteCristo kind of looks like you I had to double take

Too soon.

Not funny

Not funny.

Editor or yearbook jolts awake in the middle of the night. They are unsure why but know it’s big.

New study just in 'The more you drive the less intelligent you are'.

'The immortal being then reportedly sneered as he locked eyes with his own reflection in the rearview mirror, pressed harder on the gas, and approached a sharp bend in the road.'

Why is this so funny?

THIS JUST IN: His windshield

Mirage

instant banger

DO THAT ON THE CROSS ISLAND ON A ZIPCAR AT 2 AM.....

look

In a Tesla nonetheless

All dead people are invincible!

Nothing to lose when it's your parents car.

This will end without becoming braking news.

i didn't know the non-lizard version of mark zuckerberg was a teenager

He's gonna live forev

The Onion be outta pocket some times 😭

And unsure if the Taco Bell is even open. *wakes up in bed*

Oh boy! I can’t wait to see the report of him making it him making it safely home and giving his dad the bird!

The defensive driving technique is offensive.

The beginning of invincible is 115. I start my car at 95 mph...

It's Kyle Bosman y'all KyleBosman

He'll be titanium soon.

MonteCristo they're calling you a teen.

His FSD beta 10.0 will keep him safer than God's own hands could

Is this McSkillet?

I didn’t even seen him coming.

All he can think about is sex.

I love the Offensive Driving videos a lot more than the Defensive ones.

s

That's a teen? Looks like he's in his 20s.

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