Vol 56 Issue 17

Vol 56 Issue 17

Bourgeois Pig Owns Ostentatious Glass Crafted Specifically To Hold Wine

Bourgeois Pig Owns Ostentatious Glass Crafted Specifically To Hold Wine

5/23/2020 8:17:00 PM

Bourgeois Pig Owns Ostentatious Glass Crafted Specifically To Hold Wine

MILWAUKEE—After he flaunted the opulent receptacle on his front porch and sipped from it in a display of lavish decadence, witnesses confirmed Thursday that local bourgeois pig Kyle Evans, Mr. Moneybags himself, owned a fancy glass designed specifically for drinking wine. “He must think he’s a Rockefeller, buying a special glass with a stem on it because he’s too good to drink wine from any old cup like us regular folks,” neighbor Daniel Clements said of the shameless social climber, adding that Evans was so eager to fit in with his blue-blooded overlords that he also insisted his white wines and rosés be chilled before he drank them, lest their too-warm temperature offend his sensitive palate. “Oink, oink, piggy. I bet he’s got plates of varying sizes too, so he can use the smaller ones for salads and the larger ones for his dinner. Well, enjoy it while you can, Lord Kyle. It’s only a matter of time before you’re bayoneted in your bed.” At press time, Evans was spotted handing a $5 tip to the serf delivering his takeout, like some modern-day Mansa Musa.

Read more: The Onion »

A glass? What a douche. I cut out the middle man years ago. If you’re not drinking from red plastic cups, you are bourgeoisie And the wine came in a handsomely adorned box. Don't jump to conclusions. May have just received family bailout check 😶 If you have any amount of class consciousness you should know it's boujwa to drink anything other than Carlo Rossi out of old spaghetti jars.

Him and we LOVE LOVE LOVE ZWINE Woah donttrythis slow down, we all saw the episode yall got sloshy in Me: 15 dollar wine glass - 8 dollar wine. Oooink! I think that might be a brandy glass? AdamAlabrash Precursor to “Foppish Dandy Disregards Local Constabulary” sickening, i can't believe we live in such a world

Why the fuck Adam Savage hiding the pain? This is the 'smiling through the pain' guy. Did he also build his house in glass? I bet the wolf can't blow away a glass house (3 little pigs story) Found using Tumblr? 😉 Why did you use capital letters at the beginning of every word? the TheBabylonBee is funnier than you!

Is it wine or the blood of the proletariat?

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