Both Sides of a Friend Breakup: She Said No to Being a Bridesmaid

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“It’s a shame because I know I’m a wonderful friend and she chooses to see me through this dysfunctional lens. But at this point, I’m over it. She chose one road, I chose another … ”

Photo: Gluekit This week the Cut explores the messy, loving, spiteful, supportive, competitive, joyful, and funny sides of friendship.

Lindsay: Ava’s family was artsy and fun, definitely a little crazy, but in a good way. My mother was into presentation and image, and Ava’s family just didn’t give a shit about that kind of stuff. Ava: She met Martin right after college. I really liked him! She never had much luck with guys and this one adored her, and he was cute, nice, and funny.

Lindsay: Not only didn’t she offer to help with the shower, she never showed up for it, nor did she send a gift. Before Martin, I might have blown that off as typical Ava antics … blasé and sort of totally wrong but “with a good heart.” But Martin has such a high standard for the people we have in our life. So now that I was learning to see the world through our shared outlook, I was angered by her inconsiderate actions.

Ava: I politely declined. I thought I was doing her a favor. I was juggling so many jobs and knew I couldn’t handle too much more responsibility … and again, I’m not good with the traditional stuff. It’s boring, stressful, and, in the end, pretty much meaningless. I’m a good friend and I know that in my heart, but I don’t need penis whistles or Vera Wang gowns to prove it. Frankly, I don’t know why she even wanted me so involved with this stuff? I’m not that friend.

 

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