Block Your Exits in Order to Grow

In some instances, life forces you to meet yourself and refresh your defense mechanisms—like cases of illness, financial crises, etc..Benefits of proactively blocking your own exits:Your relationship becomes more vital, exciting, and generative.

By blocking each other’s exits, you become each other’s coach in the service of personal and relational growth. You both enjoy an ever-changing and deepening relational bond. Most of us aren’t fortunate enough to have a partner that blocks our exits in a playful, growth-inducing way. Not a partner who complains about our behavior while feeling sorry for themselves, but rather a mate who really wants us to expand our relational repertoire and bring more of ourselves to the world.

Choose to believe that your partner unconsciously, implicitly intuits your shortcomings. Actively create an environmentIf you reveal to your partner your defense mechanisms, smoke screens, and avoidance tactics, you’ll help them to become the best person to challenge you effectively.When you do avoid or bypass intimacy, own it playfully to your partner: “I just avoided your question again, by changing the topic. Why did I do that? I was embarrassed you might think I am stupid.

Tell them it's a mine shaft. Timmy never goes to the mine shaft, it's a thing we say. That's why its boarded up.

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