Finance, Money, Economy, Vol 53 Issue 49

Finance, Money

Bitcoin Plunge Reveals Possible Vulnerabilities In Crazy Imaginary Internet Money

Bitcoin Plunge Reveals Possible Vulnerabilities In Crazy Imaginary Internet Money

5/13/2021 1:57:00 AM

Bitcoin Plunge Reveals Possible Vulnerabilities In Crazy Imaginary Internet Money

NEW YORK—Saying it may account for the precipitous drop in the digital currency, financial experts on Friday told reporters that the recent plunge in bitcoin value could reveal vulnerabilities in crazy imaginary internet money. “This should serve as a clear indicator of how susceptible weird invisible money that only exists online can be to sudden fluctuations in the market,” said economist Bernard Gregerson, explaining that the 18 percent decline in bitcoin’s value might be a predictor of more drastic fluctuations to come in the price of bizarre make-believe cryptocurrency that has no reality in the physical realm. “This volatility may be connected to the fact that we’re dealing with a pile of ones and zeros with no attachment to any bank or government and calling it legal tender, but we can’t say for certain.” At press time, bitcoin had recouped some of its losses, which experts attributed to the fact that even ghost money best suited for anonymously buying heroin could sometimes rebound.\n

NEW YORK—Saying it may account for the precipitous drop in the digital currency, financial experts on Friday told reporters that the recent plunge in bitcoin value could reveal vulnerabilities in crazy imaginary internet money. “This should serve as a clear indicator of how susceptible weird invisible money that only exists online can be to sudden fluctuations in the market,” said economist Bernard Gregerson, explaining that the 18 percent decline in bitcoin’s value might be a predictor of more drastic fluctuations to come in the price of bizarre make-believe cryptocurrency that has no reality in the physical realm. “This volatility may be connected to the fact that we’re dealing with a pile of ones and zeros with no attachment to any bank or government and calling it legal tender, but we can’t say for certain.” At press time, bitcoin had recouped some of its losses, which experts attributed to the fact that even ghost money best suited for anonymously buying heroin could sometimes rebound.

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c'mon butters simp some more for your fucking magic beans numbers arent real when you realize normal money is imaginary too Imaginary coin stans in shambles. Shots fired! ChevyChasin Wonder how much the Bitcoin in the pictures is? Looks neat RVAwonk Guys.... I thought this is supposed to be parody. Wait. This isn’t satire

Reading these comments proves the crypto dorks have zero chill.

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The onion be too real sometimes owillis Performing exactly as designed: Bitcoin is currency for Russian criminal gangs. palexa71 Onion once again just reporting news davidgerard It's fascinating reading stuff from blockchain PR people who are all like 'it's about dapps and the ledger, the coins are just sort of an incentive' and then you look at the comments on something like this and it's all 'BTC IS THE NEW MONEY THE END'.

all the Bitcoin guys in the replies consider investing in my new currency seethecoin at I've invented a new coin called OnionCoin - it's worth 1 billion bitcoins. It isn't backed up by anything physical, but it's just as legit, and it's even more rare because I have the only one. Willing to part with it for the low low sum of only 3 million bitcoins.

willdoescode Yes, bc green paper has a lot more value than a number in a screen 😂. Every single currency in the world rn is imaginary money so have fun 🤣🤣 Hahaha funny cause it's true 🤣

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Crazy Imaginary Internet Money is actually the money we all use! Backed by nothing, almost 90% not even physical money, (just bits in a computer) bocajoes After reading the replies I'm gonna go set up an OnlyFans that's just videos of me fully clothed while telling cryptobros how SOOPER SMRT they are in exchange for their fake imaginary 'dollars' that aren't real.

Predictably eratic behavior to pump news value into currency. Autopilot crashes car. Autocorp crashes currency. Vulnerabilities in adventurous people revealed. More on this if just in time parachute manufacturing system works says test jumper. NJDG Not the onion!? 😆 The only crazy thing is people thinking that Tesla will use less energy than BTC

Bitcoin currently rests at 5x value vs value at article’s original publication date - 4D satire RSeidel_NBCT LOL BRUH

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zshahan3 crazy that this dip was already known before the 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 thegrugq BURN DAT COAL Uh oh. 'Crazy imaginary internet money' really? What do you think the u.s dollar is right now? adamkotsko All money is imaginary and made up. The only difference is who gets to control it. the onion lol f uck outta here

I like the TheBabylonBee The comments on this one oughta be great

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Cryptocurrency geocaching, which invisible one is the right one to buy. The funny money is always exchanged for real money when it's at its highest value. Regular money is also imaginary techbruhs having a shit attack😆 Here come white men with sticks up their asses to say, did you know that all currency is based on social convention?

Mark Zuckerberg has a goat named Bitcoin and we're a little worried for itMark, please don't eat Bitcoin

Tesla Will Stop Accepting Bitcoin As Payment Due To Environmental Worries, Musk SaysElon Musk says he’s concerned about “rapidly increasing use of fossil fuels for Bitcoin mining and transactions, especially coal.” Um, hello McFly! it will create shame in the face,What's the use of having so much money if you are shameless? You like to lie and betray people! 😉 Actual Reason: China