CRESTON, IA—Saying that he detected the "telltale signs" the first time he lay down in it, local infant Joshua Singer told reporters Friday that he can already tell his defective crib is going to be recalled.
"Man, this one's a real piece of work; I can actually feel it moving from side to side while I’m in it," the 6-month-old said, pointing to several hazardous design flaws in his wooden cradle that he speculated would lead to its mass recall in the near future. "These railings are splintering on the edges and they're way too far apart—I can get out of this thing no problem. And I don't like that weird metallic smell one bit.
shelbyelleparks
Their death will ensure the safety of future babies.
Why did I actually read this article. lol
Baby's first sense of forboding. They grow up so fast today.
The next Jim Cramer
USCPSC
Better to die early before they get attached.
Some people are born Materials Engineers
👀👀👀👀
I’m surprised we still keep kids in cages. It’s 2021.
He's disappointed he won't get to occupy Afghanistan.
If only they recalled those damn dressers...
You can't see it, but on the inside of the crib's bars it says 'Vote for trump'...
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