Baby Can Already Tell Crib He’s In Going To Be Recalled

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 24 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Qulity Score:
  • News: 13%
  • Publisher: 51%

CRESTON, IA—Saying that he detected the 'telltale signs' the first time he lay down in it, local infant Joshua Singer told reporters Friday that he can already tell his defective crib is going to be recalled. 'Man, this one's a real piece of work; I can actually feel it moving from side to side while I’m in it,' the…

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

CRESTON, IA—Saying that he detected the "telltale signs" the first time he lay down in it, local infant Joshua Singer told reporters Friday that he can already tell his defective crib is going to be recalled.

"Man, this one's a real piece of work; I can actually feel it moving from side to side while I’m in it," the 6-month-old said, pointing to several hazardous design flaws in his wooden cradle that he speculated would lead to its mass recall in the near future. "These railings are splintering on the edges and they're way too far apart—I can get out of this thing no problem. And I don't like that weird metallic smell one bit.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

shelbyelleparks

Their death will ensure the safety of future babies.

Why did I actually read this article. lol

Baby's first sense of forboding. They grow up so fast today.

The next Jim Cramer

USCPSC

Better to die early before they get attached.

Some people are born Materials Engineers

👀👀👀👀

I’m surprised we still keep kids in cages. It’s 2021.

He's disappointed he won't get to occupy Afghanistan.

If only they recalled those damn dressers...

You can't see it, but on the inside of the crib's bars it says 'Vote for trump'...

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

6 Adorable Baby Items to Buy During Carter’s Baby Love SaleCheck out all the adorable baby items on sale for Carter’s bi-annual Baby Love sale, featuring major steals and doorbuster deals.
Source: thebump - 🏆 702. / 51 Read more »

Parenting, Baby Names, Celebrities, and Royal News | CafeMom.com
Source: CafeMom - 🏆 701. / 51 Read more »

Parenting, Baby Names, Celebrities, and Royal News | CafeMom.com
Source: CafeMom - 🏆 701. / 51 Read more »

Parenting, Baby Names, Celebrities, and Royal News | CafeMom.com
Source: CafeMom - 🏆 701. / 51 Read more »

Princess Beatrice highlights baby bump during special appearancePrincess Beatrice attended a special outing with her patronage, Forget Me Not Children's Hospice in Huddersfield
Source: hellomag - 🏆 24. / 68 Read more »

Kylie Jenner Kicks Off 2nd Baby Maternity Style With White Hot LookKylie Jenner dressed her baby bump in designer duds, leather dresses and belly-baring frocks — photos
Source: usweekly - 🏆 390. / 55 Read more »