Ask Amy: Mother keeps asking us to set a wedding date

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Dear Amy: My fiancée and I have been engaged for four years.

Admittedly, this is longer than I originally would have liked, but outside factors such as our long-distance relationship, COVID, and moving across the country together have continually delayed the wedding date.As a result, she has continually poked and prodded about our wedding plans. At best, her interference is exhausting. At worst, it is hurtful.

Over Thanksgiving, Mom compiled a list of all the family members’ birthdays and distributed it at dinner.When I asked my mother about it, she told me, “Well, you’re not married, so technically she’s not part of the family.” What, if anything, can I do to address this snub and to make the woman I love feel like part of the family?Dear Engaged: Your mother’s choice to exclude your partner from a list of “family members” was deliberate and unkind – especially since she unveiled this list at a holiday event where she knew your partner would be present. Wow.


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