Ask Amy: I got this horrible letter, and now my husband’s family is acting like it didn’t happen

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Am I supposed to forget she said they all despised me?

Suddenly, after six years of silence, the sisters-in-law have started sending me birthday cards and messages as if nothing happened. They say they want to get together.

Is the letter something to be swept under the rug and forgotten? Am I being unreasonable? Since my husband doesn’t really care one way or the other, am I OK to maintain my silence and distance?These in-laws have opened a door, and I suggest that you walk through it. And so — ask about it! You can respond to a bid for contact by saying, “I’m completely baffled. Six years ago, I received a letter, signed by you, that spelled out in detail all of my flaws. It also said that your family despises me. I completely accept that. If something has changed, you should let me know.”Most likely, you can expect something along the lines of: “Wow, that was no big deal.

His important book about this experience, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” offers indelible lessons about resilience.

 

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