Ask Amy: Cousin's caregiving is actually care-taking

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Dear Amy: My cousin was living with and taking care of my mom near the end of my mom’s life.

My mother needed constant care. I was living hundreds of miles away at the time, so this was a good solution at the time.I soon found out that my cousin was taking almost all of my mom’s SSI for herself. My cousin got $1,100 per month, leaving very little money left for my mother’s use.I just can’t forgive her for the harm she caused and for taking advantage of someone who obviously cared for her.

You don’t mention what the financial arrangement was with your cousin. I assume that it was not contractual, but more of a casual arrangement between family members, involving housing and other benefits for your cousin. Dear Amy: A group of neighbors with a similar medical condition gather to support one another in a formal monthly setting.However, one member in particular responds to everyone’s comment often with medical research, which doesn’t apply in every case.Someone suggested timing individual responses, but this feels too structured.— Tired of the Lectures

Support groups function best when members do a lot of listening, some commiserating, and — finally — offer advice and resources to one another. Dear Amy: Why the hullabaloo about keeping photos of a long-ago ex? Why should “Charlie” have to get rid of them?

 

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