As A Show Of Good Faith, We’re Sending In 10 Little-Known Facts About ‘The Witcher’ And All We Ask Is You Not Harm Any Of The Hostages

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Hello! We are addressing ourselves to the individual inside the First Savings Bank on Fourth and Grand. You are speaking to the Onion Gamers Network. Please remain calm. We just want to talk to you. You’re a professional; we’re a professional gaming journalism site. We can certainly come to some sort of agreement…

Did you know that despite his litheness and powerful magical skills,’s protagonist is pushing 100 years old? We think that’s pretty interesting, but you’re telling us that you want a helicopter too? Jeez, we’re just one publication, Greg, there’s only so much pull we have here. Why do you want a helicopter, anyway? You want to go to the airport? You want us to scramble a jet too? That means we have to bring in the FAA, federal marshals, the whole shebang.

That’s right. We’ll stay back. Thank you, Greg! See, we knew the two of us could work together. And look, she’s going to be just fine. She told us you’re a reasonable man. Thank you, Greg. Thank you. You’re doing great.

 

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How about a couple rounds of Gwent? Every round you win I release a hostage.

the twist: Greg robbed that bank so he could pay for a limited edition copy of The Witcher 3

HMMM.

It’s a fun one for a while

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