Architect Has Amazing Idea For Replacing Freedom Tower If Worst Were To Happen Again

📆 5/27/2020 3:29 PM
📰 TheOnion

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NEW YORK—Confident that given the chance he would absolutely blow the memorial committee away with his design, architect Shaun Linger told reporters Wednesday that he has an amazing idea for replacing New York’s Freedom Tower if the worst were to happen again. “I don’t want it to happen, but if tragedy were to strike, I have this beautiful, spiraling skyscraper design that would make people forget the Freedom Tower ever existed,” said Linger, who revealed that, although it would clearly be a disaster, he already has blueprints drawn up that make much better use of the lower Manhattan space and contain sly nods that honor New York’s architectural history. “Whether it’s a plane or a bomb—God forbid, obviously—I’m primed and ready to go for this. It’s just such a great location and the Freedom Tower is kind of blah, you know? But my design is elegant, tasteful, original, and it even contains a really touching tribute that uses a part of the original structure as a memorial. This kind of genius would be wasted on some random lot in Atlanta.” At press time, Linger had reached out about the possibility of collaborating with a local cell from the Haqqani network.

Write Comment

Too soon.

onions make me cry. so do you.

Too soon, dude. Like, over two months too soon.

I feel like a new design would be refreshing. Of course, I wouldn’t want it to happen for the wrong reasons. But if it did, glass half full?

A 200 story underground skyscraper. 2,412 feet.

There are so many of this guy IRL though

Will only get to use it if Jeb Bush is elected president

That last line is amazing

Subcontracting terrorists to raze down buildings was not what Key & Peele meant when they said 'draxx them sklounst'

Love the Onion... love things that are in bad taste and make people uncomfortable... Could’ve done without this one.

fuck man this is dark

I hear George Bush is pretty bored right now

Yikes

Wow seriously bad take

And Tower 7?

Too soon

😳😳😳

The best thing to do was not to have posted this. The next best thing to do is delete it.

Outrageous 🤣

Unpopular? opinion: The Freedom Tower is unattractive and looks uninspired.

Strange, Liz_Cheney's father had similar thoughts a couple decades ago.

Unthinkable! But at the same time we don't want to be caught flat-footed.

Too soon!

Still too soon for this level of tastelessness.

Is that Charlie Kirk's daddy?

Tired: bush did 9/11 Wired: architects did 9/11

Not that I wish for it or anything but maybe ease up on the airport security every now and then

...with 100 floor 'Section 8' (a/k/a welfare) housing? HEY, before being nasty; we are going to NEED 1 million housing units, for the 2 million people out of a job, permanently, after Corona ends. Huge new commercial buildings are no longer needed, in the age of 'work from home'!

well what is it if its good enough who knows

RELATED: 'I'm Listening,' Says Dick Cheney

A 'Freedom Underground Bunker' is just lazy architecture...

Gob Biden has the name. Welcome to Fuck Tower!

Strange when I can’t tell the onion from msm

replace worst with impossible * ;)

Fam

Yall gonna make me act up and do something stupid

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