Excavators working in the Beit Hanina neighborhood of Jerusalem unveiled fragments of several earthenware vessels, an 18-seat public latrine hewn from stone and terra cotta piping dating to Jesus’ era, along with a curbed Roman road that served as a main artery of ancient Judea, where the fledgling, hard-up prophet is believed to have cruised for johns passing by on donkeys, wagons, and chariots.
“This would have been before Christ had many followers, of course,” Oshri added. “Some of his earliest followers were clients, actually.”The young Christ, like many adrift Hebrew males, is believed to have turned to sex work around 19 A.D. as a coping mechanism during a bout of homelessness.
According to historians, intercrural sex—a type of non-penetrative sex in which the male inserts his lubricated penis between his partner’s thighs—was en vogue during Christ’s day, and it is the form most of his trysts were believed to have taken. Fellatio was also preferred whenever possible, to stave off disease and wear.
Nope
I once liked the Onion but no longer. I refuse to read anything with your stamp on it. This is irreverent, irresponsible, and disgusting.
Is that a stripper pole I see in the background?
Life comes at you fast. Don't judge.
Special place in Hell for the writer of this story. Now do Mohammed!
We’re all laughing WITH God.
too soon
Definitely a submissive.
He was turning tricks for three days straight in a 'tomb', which everyone knows is code for Brothel
I know this trash was just for likes and attention, but c’mon Onion...couldn’t think of anything close to the semblance of quality,LOL? Y’all that bored in this quarantine🤦🏾♂️😆
Imagine how God Almighty may make a trick of you for this!
Now do the other religions.....
Onion makes joke about Jesus but posts picture of Mohammed. Not afraid of mistake-
Not funny.
$1 to watch me touch it, $2 for you to touch it. $3... well I think you know where this is going
Cat who inspired the Corona bottle wonders... 'Was it worth it?'
Make a joke about Muhammad. C'mon, do it, you cowardly punks.
Is it under the queensboro bridge?
The Player's Club
Note that the news is from the year 2013 and is pure blasphemous
_phoebester_
What evidence are they basing this on, since Jesus was an imaginary figure created by the Roman's as propaganda to subdue the Jewish community into total slavery. Who was the treasonous Jewish historian Josephus? What part did he play in the creation of the Bible?
.
Now do Mohamed you courageous pricks.
Writer projecting.
That's just offensive and I'm not religious. Whomever is writing these needs to be replaced. The level of dismissive, tasteless, cruel jokes is not acceptable anymore. There's an art to humor that the Onion once cultivated. This isn't it.
This was edgy back in 2004. Not even Christian. Just feel like you got lazy during the pandemic.
Now do one about Mohammed.
I’m interested in seeing the place where Muhammad didn’t rape a 9 yr old girl
Show some respect for the dead,for Christ’s sake.
Onion first published this in 2013. If you’re outraged today, you’re seven years late.
WOW!!! Here come the haters though. Okay that the Vatican shuffled priests around if they got caught diddling kids, or preachers get people infected cuz they need tax-free faith moneys... no the real bad people are joke writers and Karen wants to talk to your manager!
It was also said Jesus ran his own Apple store in Nazareth a year before becoming the Messiah. Being the son of God allowed him to foresee and manifest such technologies back then.🐼😂👍😇
Um..no idea where the joke is here
Illusions, Michael
Lmfao
Haters
Unfollowed. Feel free to take the day off when you simply have nothing of quality to give.
If you’re not married it doesn’t count
Wow! Your writers like living dangerously Plagues Let us know how that works out.
blASSphemous
“Where’s my money?” - God
The Onion has done better.
People will hate you for this. But I love your courage and your disdain for religious correctness.
What happened to you, Onion? You used to be funny.
Too edgy for you?
'No kissing! Well, maybe just the feet.'
Wow... Pushing the envelope...
Lol
Really?
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