'American Idol' Season 18 Premiere Recap: New Faces, Returning Contestants & More

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Hilariously, Seacrest's narration makes a brief mention ofwinning last year before scuttling along and singing the praises of Season 17 runner-up Alejandro Aranda, who apparently has caused an influx of multi-talented artistes at the auditions. Actually, maybe that’s not so hilarious for Hardy. Sorry, kid.

Later, back in front of the three judges, Kiker is all “aww, shucks” and struck by how pretty Perry is, before revealing that he actually has a fairly soulful voice. Bryan ends up hopping on the piano to play Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road,” on which Kiker sings along with ease. Well, golly, y’all -- he’s on through to Hollywood.Moving right along, this 16-year-old from Acworth, Georgia, is an acoustic guitar-carrying church worship leader who reminds Perry of herself at that tender age.

Oh, lawd. Down in the City of Angels we get our first painfully abysmal audition of the evening. I wish I could tell you this All American Rejects-loving rock enthusiast was good-bad. Or worth a chuckle or two. Alas, his howling and yowling and hyper movements in the audition room just make you pray for the zombie apocalypse to happen, STAT.Well, well, well.

“I just have this feeling that you think you’re too good for us,” Perry warns. “There’s one thing that’s gonna get in the way, and don’t let it. It’s gonna be your ego.” Ermolaev screech-warbles an original titled “Say Goodbye” and no one at the judges’ table knows what’s happening. It’s called MAGIC, sweeties. Look it up.

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Where is KP5 I’m losing my mind every day I’m tired I’m gonna produce my own KP5 this is tired katyperry and also stop bot tweeting you’re motherlovin Katy Perry

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