Ummm okayyyy Chris Cuomo. The nerve of that body!! Those washboard abs! As someone who is neither stupid nor blind, I get it. But I’m gonna go ahead and state the obvious: Chris ithot.
I’ll pause here to say that the Coronavirus Pandemic is one of the scariest things we’ve ever lived through: the uncertainty, the waiting, hearing of more and more people losing their lives as our broken system of a government fails to provide equipment to hospitals, masks, gowns, ventilators, proper testing, and truthful messaging about the severity of this ravaging virus. I live in Manhattan and the only sounds I hear through my windows are those of ambulances a few times an hour.
But as a New Yorker at the epicenter of the outbreak here in the United States, it does give me a glimmer of hope that we’ve got a Cuomo at the helm. And the fact that he looks like Lumière as Tony Soprano doesn’t hurt either…P.S. has anyone else noticed how nice his hands are? *police knock on door, serve restraining order*
I’ve been very open about my crush on Gov. Cuomo from the beginning, to which some have likened to Stockholm Syndrome. Trapped in my apartment, nowhere else to focus my hormones, the only man speaking directly TO ME for miles around. And apparently, I’m not alone! Because I’ve noticed a LOT of women are coming for my man! The Cuomo thirst is hitting desert-like peaks on Twitter and the Gram, women practically throwing themselves at the man. Ladies, slow your roll. First of all, he likes blondes.
Michelle Collins is a comedian and host of The Michelle Collins Show on SiriusXM Stars daily from 7-10AM ET. You can follow her Cuomo thirst on
Your boyfriend is about to destroy Medicaid, kill bail reform and slash education spending. Your boyfriend sucks, and positioning him as a thirst trap is insulting to all the New Yorkers who are going to suffer.
no
oh dear god I realize many of us are emotionally vulnerable right now but this is the absolute worst thing, COVID please take me now
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