Cooperation, Vol 48 Issue 01

Cooperation, Vol 48 Issue 01

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer

5/24/2020 12:42:00 AM

All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer

SAN DIEGO—Following seven straight years of long hours at the office and sacrificed weekends and holidays, all of account manager Sam Hemstead's hard work and single-minded devotion to Pinnacle Automotive Insurance has finally paid off for CEO Charles Pardahee, Pardahee said Friday.

By working overtime for the past six months and increasing his overall productivity, Hemstead has given himself the opportunity to earn his boss the San Diego Business Journal CEO of the Year Award.SAN DIEGO—Following seven straight years of long hours at the office and sacrificed weekends and holidays, all of account manager Sam Hemstead's hard work and single-minded devotion to Pinnacle Automotive Insurance has finally paid off for CEO Charles Pardahee, Pardahee said Friday.

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Advertisement"There were definitely some nights I'd lie awake in bed and wonder, 'Is Sam absolutely killing himself day in and day out for nothing?'" Pardahee told reporters while driving to his weekend home in a recently purchased 2012 BMW luxury sedan. "But Sam just put his head down and never looked back, and this year his blood, sweat, and tears have proven profitable to the tune of a 15 percent larger bonus for myself."

"It just goes to show that if you're really passionate and dedicated, eventually it all comes back around to your superiors," Pardahee continued.AdvertisementThe stress-related physical and psychological tolls for Hemstead, 34, have been high, but the hypertension, weight-gain, and crippling migraine headaches he has suffered due to his rigorous work schedule have been worth the rewards he has reaped for his employer, Pardahee confirmed.

"I'm sure there were times when Sam wondered if it was all really worth it, especially considering he had to pay for a lot of his medication and doctor's visits out of his own pocket," said Pardahee, who in 2009 forced all his account managers to become contract employees so he would no longer have to provide them with health care benefits. "But he never complained once, and now that Sam has helped Pinnacle earn record profits by not taking a single day off for more than five years, I can finally relax and take another long vacation to Turks and Caicos. After all, Sam earned it for me."

AdvertisementThe CEO added that nothing is more satisfying than a job well done by someone else.While Hemstead's total devotion to the company has come at a steep personal cost, these too are reportedly acceptable considering the immense financial gains and professional accolades he has garnered for Pardahee.

Advertisement"When Sam's wife filed for divorce and eventually won custody of his two daughters, he completely threw himself into his job in an attempt to cope as his life fell apart all around him," Pardahee said. "That was great, because it allowed me to drastically scale back my workload and spend even more time with my wife and children."

"Seeing most of his paycheck go to child support has made me really value all the things I can do with my kids because of Sam's hard work," Pardahee continued. "Considering all he continues to do for this company without even thinking about taking a break, he's afforded me all the time in the world to just enjoy life and not be defined by my job."

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AdvertisementAccording to the CEO, Hemstead's contributions to Pinnacle Insurance will pay even greater dividends when he is let go and replaced with a college graduate willing to work for half the salary, allowing Pardahee to give himself a substantial raise.

Read more: The Onion »

Way to go Arya-man! Well, I'm sure it will trickle back down. 🤓 I think I used to work there. ? Area Employer deeply unhappy that hard working Area Man infected with SARS-CoV-2. Withdraws health insurance fearing cost increases. Second quarter profits set to exceed target. If he had a set of balls he would work for himself.

Hey, the other commenters, tone it down a bit, will ya? I came here to check out jokes, not to become class conscious. Your boss needs you— you don't need him! The next year, his tirelessly hard work may even allow his boss to get a Lambo. Too real. That's how it always is. Capitalism in a nutshell Up next: Spouse Takes Half Of All Of Area Man's Hard Earned Pennies

Finally Sad how accurate this is...

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UK to require employers to pay 20-30% of furloughed wage costThe United Kingdom has drawn up plans to require employers to cover 20% to 30% of furloughed employees' wages from August to reduce the vast burden of the coronavirus crisis on government finances, The Times newspaper reported. Good luck being a business owner in UK

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