WASHINGTON—Shortly after 3 p.m. today, the Federal Aviation Administration ordered the immediate grounding of all commercial and private aircraft, a result of top officials' collective realization that humankind was never meant to fly.
"It is wrong—nay, foolish—for lowly man to aspire to the realm of birds and dare to soar across the firmament in unholy flight," said FAA administrator Randy Babbitt, announcing the indefinite cancellation of all 87,000 daily flights through U.S. airspace. "Alas, man's destiny lies not amongst the clouds. So let us be guided by hubristic folly no longer and embrace our terrestrial provenance.
World's greatest writers. 🤣
WithAPh_ Finally! You guys actually finally said something funny!
This article is from 2011 what the heck?
Second time they predicted something right
It's true. If man was meant to fly he'd have been born with a pilot's license and permission to takeoff from air traffic control.
😂😂😂
I've read something similar, about a fisherman who died at sea, cuz of a storm, & the rest of his body was found, torn up eaten by fish. The reporter wrote that this was natural, cuz humans were indeed created to live on land, & not in the sea.
Absolutely love the humor 😱🤣
Some IT dork unplugged the wrong cable.
Can we just go back to being shot out of a cannon?
it’s wild that this is from 2011
tomtomorrow Finally!
Lmao y’all petty.
Did you know, you don't even need to go to school to discern which science can be taken for granted as real, and which science is global conspiracy? Warning: the above comment has elements of sarcasm
I guess then we need to ground all military flights also let’s leave us all unprotected lol
The Icarus Judgement
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robrouphail
Long overdue. Finally some common sense.
Too late now!
😀
“Indeed, what hath God wrought?” officials shared in their statement
Hee-Hee Man disaproves
birds, bats and bugs all rejoice
This Onion parody....is not one of your better ones.
About time... it's way too dangerous. Best to stay home and double-mask up.
Wright Brothers, more like Wrong Brothers, amiwright?
Superman in tears.
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