After Much Thought, OGN Has Decided To Update Our Review Of ‘Banjo-Kazooie’ From A 9.7 To A 9.6

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At Onion Gamers Network, we always strive to provide the pinnacle in gaming news, commentary, previews, and reviews. On rare occasions, however, we have failed to live up to these lofty standards and must take significant steps to correct these missteps. Today, we find ourselves needing to do just that. After a thorough analysis by our 50-person editorial board, we are officially updating our 1998 review of Rare’s Banjo-Kazooie from a 9.7 to a 9.6.

At Onion Gamers Network, we always strive to provide the pinnacle in gaming news, commentary, previews, and reviews. On rare occasions, however, we have failed to live up to these lofty standards and must take significant steps to correct these missteps. Today, we find ourselves needing to do just that.

’s release, never pausing to factor in the game’s less-than-stellar replayability and occasional graphical glitches., and our staff’s consensus that the game’s plot—centered around rescuing Banjo’s sister, Tooty, from the evil witch Gruntilda—was merely “excellent” instead of “extraordinary,” have led us to issue an official retraction of our original score and update it with a more thoroughly considered and accurate 9.6.We apologize to any readers led astray by our initial ranking.

However, in order to properly make amends, we have fired the original reviewer, a 33-year veteran of the company, as well as the copy editor and three other editorial staffers involved in the publication of this woefully misleading article. To anyone who played the game in 1998 and had a nagging sense that what they were experiencing wasn’t quite “truly next-level gaming” when they were led to believe it was, know only that Onion Gamers Network is profoundly sorry.

 

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RareLtd

Changing their mind just means they can’t be taken seriously no more. I wonder what game review might change next. This is not a decision we made lightly, (OGN, 2019).

THIS IS MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!!!

RareLtd To all people who think this is legit:

RareLtd You're biased and nitpicking. I win, you lose. Bye-bye!

Tf

RareLtd Those Bastards!

RareLtd Still a 10/10 by me. 🤷‍♀️

What the actual hell. Why!!!!!!

THIS IS A BRUH HUH MOMENT

HOW DARE THEY 🤬

RareLtd Send him to the engine room!

change it back change it back right fucking now

RareLtd

Youre wrong

This game is overrated

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, I WILL SUE!

fucked up

You’ll pay for this :(

You probably gave fornite a 10/10

Fucking hell

M0NSTERJUICE_

HERESY

This is an outrage.

There’s a special place in heck for people like you!!

You're kidding right?

Take it back RIGHT FUCKING NOW

OGN reviewer was 1 note away from getting a 100% clear rate and it's been eating at him this whole time. Been there. This is the closure they need, I get it

This is war

'Our rating of the game’s sequel, Banjo-Tooie, however, remains unchanged at a 5.1.'

If it wasn't the Onion, this would be the best example of Poe's law I've ever seen. I wonder how many people these days remember the Onion is satire? It almost feels like a normal news site in this day and age.

ive fuckig had it

You have commited a crime against humanity.

A whole .1 percent. Oh fuck me, this is terrible. You guys have horrible opinions.

Banjo_Kaluigi bad news :(

Me and the bois when we see this tweet

boycottogn

Why

Hbomberguy

Let me get my lawyer

REALLY?.... REALLY?

Lol what's 'OGN'

hva faen

heresy

Worst timeline

You've gone too far this time. your days are numbered buckaroo.

Reported for hate speech

THIS IS AN AFFRONT TO ALL GAMERKIND. YOU WILL REGRET THIS MOST HEINOUS OF ACTIONS

This is a hate crime

Banjo-Tooie in the other hand... MASTAHPEEZ

...I hope you choke.

Harsh but fair

Wtf

stop this

I've never even played it but imma be outraged anyway in true gamer style

grantkirkhope

Sirs, I am appalled by your criminally low rating of Banjo-Tooie and will no longer be patronizing your business. Good day.

Updates review to down grade smh

Kazooie sucks. Tooie is where it's at.

brentalfloss How dare.

Everyday we strive further from God...I

You fool, don't you see what you have done?

I can hear vgdunkey's heavy breathing.

TO DEATH WITH U

So you have chosen.....death

You’ve just made some very powerful enemies

Your take on Banjo-Tooie is based, though

Guess it's time for another amok run

this is about ethics in gaming journalism

Travesty.

How dare you, they literally made it into smash, the biggest crossover in gaming industry

Now you've done it...

It's actually a horribly overrated game. The controls are clunky and the plot is pathetic. 9.5/10 'it has a little something for everyone'

An insult to one of the treasures of the N-64 era.

Egregious

GamerPres2020 if elected, will you swear to fix the unspeakable wrong that The Onion has made

Worth a 10 tbh

MikeDrucker let’s start the fucking boycott.

Riot

This is hate speech

offended

'You committed the ultimate cardinal sin. You got personal. Not a wise move. You have chosen to bring in a new era of hostility.'

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