9 Qualities of the Most Successful Relationships

Unselfish, egoless, fair, current, and authentic.

10/23/2021 6:54:00 AM

These underlying strengths help relationships not only survive but thrive over time. How many do you recognize from your own experience?

Unselfish, egoless, fair, current, and authentic.

Key pointsCharacteristics of quality relationships include negotiating where resources are allocated in a fair way and regularly reassessing needs.Unselfish love, authentic communication, trust and a recognition of triggers from the past are also components of successful relationships.

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Acknowledging behaviors that are already a part of one's relationship can help a couple embrace others that they may want to attain.Source: Goksi/ShutterstockIn working with couples for more than four decades, I have been able to observe how committed partnerships are influenced by society’s changing definitions of what a quality relationship is. But despite those changing mores and values, I have also witnessed that some characteristics of successful relationships have remained constant independent of those influences.

I’ve compiled these beliefs and traits over many years, careful to sift and resift as quality relationships are subject to different expectations. The following nine illustrate what I have observed.As you read through them, you will naturally ask yourselves which of them has been part of your own intimate relationships. Do not feel defeated if your relationship doesn’t include all of them. Focus, instead, on those that do apply. Acknowledging beliefs and behaviors that are already successful will give you more headtopics.com

to embrace those you may then want to attain.1. The Fair Negotiation of ResourcesEvery relationship has only so many resources at different times and in different situations. Whether time, money, love, availability, or mental and emotionalresilience, those resources must be allocated with fairness, generosity and understanding. Successful couples negotiated priorities together, deciding what each may need at any one time.

In times of abundance, those allocations are easier to manage. There is more of whatever each partner needs and can more easily meet requests, desires, or an emergency. When resources are depleted, successful couples know to adjust to those diminished coffers and negotiate to reach the best agreement they can.

2. Staying CurrentLife’s demands change. Resources wax and wane. Different life stages require adaptations and adjustments. Losses are inevitable. Earlydreamsmay fall by the wayside and new ones emerge. In so many ways, quality relationships are like businesses that grow and shift with what works to keep them functioning as optimally as possible.

Relationships are no different. What responses, offerings, and valuable contributions that may have been more than enough at one time must be able to continually transform as new requirements demand different reactions, resources, or priorities. People in quality relationships regularly re-assess how they need to alter who they are, what they can give or need, and how the relationship is doing in general. With ever new evaluations, they shore up what is faltering and let go of what is no longer working. headtopics.com

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3. Unselfish LoveLove is comprised of the honest desire to seek the gratification of personal needs interspersed with making certain that your partner must thrive as well. Every intimate partner struggles between the need for safety and security and the desire for freedom to grow. The former maintains the comfort of predictability and the latter gives the relationship challenge and excitement.

THE BASICSFind a therapist to strengthen relationshipsThose of you who have supported your partner at your own expense know how scary it is to risk your own security to give your partner the opportunity to follow what he or she sees as offering more possibilities and altered dreams. Despite your insecurity, you know that it is the right thing to do no matter what the cost.

It is always better to know that your partner would rather be with you than somewhere else. But, if you know that he or she would thrive better away from you, holding them trapped to maintain your security will ultimately fail in the long run. The deepest form of love is to want what is best for each other even when that sacrifice brings potential

of loss. The old adage, “Let something go free. If it is meant to come back, it will,” is profoundly true in successful relationships. Read more: Psychology Today »

Nice n true. All.

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