Troian Bellisario is famous for her role on Pretty Little Liars and for attending the Royal Wedding (her husband, Patrick Adams, played Meghan Markle's love interest on Suits). But what you might not know about her? She went to marine biology camp in the 8th grade. She had the choice between that and space camp, when she realized, "I want to go take soil samples and spend my time with fish!" So, she says playing marine biologist Becky in Where'd You Go, Bernadette, out this Friday, is like "living out a childhood fantasy."
Her co-star, Zoe Chao, plays Soo-Lin, the pot-stirring mom of another kid at Bernadette's daughter's school. One thing both Bellisario and Chao agree on, as we sit down together at the movie junket in Toronto: Adult relationships are complicated. Here, they say, are two ways to develop meaningful connections:
DON'T gossip as a way to create intimacy.
Chao admits Soo-Lin doesn't have the healthiest relationship habits. "She does a lot of gossiping, which I would say is maybe not the best move," she jokes. "Gossip tends to be a fake way to create intimacy. You think you’re sharing something, but really, it all evaporates. It’s hard to trust somebody who’s gossipy."
Bellisario says she actually challenges herself not to say anything negative or gossipy with her friends. "It's a big challenge. And I mean that not just about other friends, but about myself. Don’t just harp on, I can’t do this ... or I’m pissed about this. And I think that sort of elevates a friendship to go, okay, I’m not just going to use you to gripe. We’re going to only focus on positive things. I think that’s a good starting point, to go: How often am I gossiping?"
DO think about who you are as an individual, and as a partner.
Bellisario gave birth to a baby girl in October. Beforehand, she says, "I more resonated with the idea of a creative spirit that wasn’t getting to follow through with her impulses. That, to me, I was like, oh my god, if you’re an artist and not following through on that you’re going to burn something inside of you that’s going to come out." But now that she's a mom, she says she relates to Bernadette in a different way. "It’s really cool to have that new lens through which I can view the film, and still feel like it’s saying something if not equally as important, more important to me: Who are we as parents? Who are we as people in a partnership or in a relationship, when you have to figure out who am I as an individual and what do I want from my life? And what do I have to sacrifice or compromise to maintain the responsibility of a family or a marriage, whatever it is. I think everybody navigates that."
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Devin is the head of content at The Muse and was previously executive editor of Prevention.com. Her work has appeared in Cosmopolitan, The Cut, and SELF.
