Expressing gratitude to one's partner can improve a relationship, but perfunctory or automatic "thank yous" may not offer the same benefits.
We are trained from a young age to say “thank you” to strangers, friends, and family who help us out. Because of these strong social norms, we say thank you frequently and perfunctorily. We also expect people to thank us.. If you expect your partner to say thanks when you do the dishes, you are probably going to be more likely to notice and remember if they don’t say thank you than if they do.
The researchers even found that among the men in the sample , perceived sincerity of their partner’s gratitude expression predicted whether or not a gratitude intervention boosted their marital satisfaction. Men who felt their partners were expressing less sincere gratitude actually became less satisfied after their partner was told to express gratitude to them.
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