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This Jewelry Designer Went Viral For Saying An Engagement Ring Shouldn't Be A Surprise, And She Raises A Lot Of Good Points

"The recipient will be wearing it forever, so making sure that the decisions that go into creating the engagement ring are right for that person is important."

Maya Ogolini
by Maya Ogolini

BuzzFeed Staff

We all know that proposals and weddings are incredibly stressful business to plan, but recently, Madison Write (@madberetjewelry) introduced an entirely new fear: That you could be making a mistake during your marriage proposal.

@madberetjewelry

jewelry designer’s take… what do you think? 💍 #engagementring

♬ original sound - madberet
A while back, I shared a few stories from former brides on mistakes that they made while planning their wedding, but none of them mentioned what Madison shared.

In her video, Madison recommends that while the time and method of your proposal should be a surprise to your partner, the actual ring that you propose with should not.

Screengrabs of a TikTok by user Madison Wright speaking with an emoji of a ring with an X on the left photo and a check mark on the right photo
@madberetjewelry / Via tiktok.com

So far, Madison's video has been viewed over 886.8K times. It has 134.6K likes and a comment section with responses ranging from fervent agreement to complete rejection.

Comments on Madison video
@madberetjewelry / Via tiktok.com

I spoke with Madison, who founded her own jewelry design company, Madberet, about a year and a half ago. She said that she shared the hot take on TikTok because of her own personal and professional experience. Whenever she works with a couple to create an engagement ring, she always asks the recipient of the ring if they'd like to be a part of the design process. "Almost every time, it's been a 'yes,' and I've never had a couple be upset with the output of the ring."

TikTok user Madison Wright smiles as she holds her hand up to her chin
Madison Wright

She elaborated, "I was potentially looking at this with my own experience as well.  I’m always wondering, 'How am I going to design my own ring? What will I ask for one day?' Not only have I always been intrigued by the designs, but I am now a jewelry designer who makes rings for other people."

Now, this doesn't mean that you should just give up and leave your partner to choose their own engagement ring. Madison clarified, "As the receiver, I hope that you’ve been able to share, 'These are the kind of things that I like,' or, 'Here’s a few ideas for inspiration.' Whether you’re a part of the design process itself, or whether you leave your partner with those notes and allow them to go, I do hope that the recipient has input on the very special piece of jewelry that they’ll be wearing indefinitely."

Two hands hold each other as one wears a wedding ring
Roy Hsu / Getty Images/Tetra images RF

While Madison often works with couples looking to design their own engagement ring, this piece of advice is also recommended for couples looking for an already-made ring as well. 

Madison added that she thinks that choosing a ring is a collaborative process, "It’s a very big gift from the person that’s giving it, but it’s also something that is symbolic of the person who will be wearing it — their style, their preferences. It's even more special if you get to collaborate on that."

Madison also expressed surprise at the polarized response to the video, saying, "I think that because that’s been my experience, I completely forgot that there was this other side of people who say, 'No matter what the design is, it’s a gift from my partner, and I will be grateful for it.' I absolutely love and respect that opinion, and they’ve had a different experience. Hearing other people’s perspectives was very eye-opening for me as well."

An aerial view of a man presenting his girlfriend with an engagement ring while sitting at a table in a restaurant together.
Tom Werner / Getty Images

When pressed for any other proposal tips, Madison debunked another common misconception about rings: "One of the misdirections is targeting carat size over characteristics," she explained. "Let’s say we’re looking at a one-carat stone that has beautiful characteristics, and we put it next to a two-carat stone that doesn’t have as quality characteristics. There’s a huge difference in the quality of those stones, but they’ll probably be similarly priced."

@madberetjewelry / Via tiktok.com

She went on, "When people are thinking about stones, one of the first things that they think about is the carat size, but I always try and educate people on the characteristics of what makes a beautiful stone. Oftentimes, people end up going with a higher quality stone with a smaller carat size than could have been within their budget range."

Ultimately, Madison shared, "When I think of engagement rings, I think, 'This is going to be one of the most special material gifts that we will ever receive.' With that gift, both the giver and receiver, I hope, are invested in getting that gift as perfect as possible. Because the person receiving the gift will be wearing it forever, making sure that the design, the aesthetic, and the dozens of decisions that go into an engagement ring are right for that person is important. That’s why I share that the ring, I hope, is not a complete surprise."