DEAR HARRIETTE: I bought a good friend of mine a very expensive bracelet a few years ago. Giving her the bracelet meant a lot to me because I knew how badly she wanted it.
The other day I saw a picture of her sister wearing the exact same bracelet.
My feelings are really hurt. How could she give away a gift that I bought specifically for her? I don’t even really know her sister.
Should I confront my friend about this?
Regifting
DEAR REGIFTING: I know how tough that must have been for you to see your gift on someone else’s wrist, even if it was your friend’s sister.
However, you need to leave that alone. Gifts are not supposed to come with strings. You gave your friend the bracelet because she longed for it.
Clearly, she valued it. Giving it to her sister or just letting her sister wear it (you don’t know the circumstances surrounding that photo) means that it is special to her. You know she loves her sister.
Whatever the reason is that she passed it along — temporarily or permanently — once the gift left your fingers and transferred to your friend’s, you no longer had any right to it or possession of it. Do your best to accept that it is currently being enjoyed!
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is extremely upset that I’ve opted out of going to Miami for her birthday.
We were set to go at the end of the month, but because of the new COVID variant, I decided to cancel my flight. We’ve had these plans for months, but I don’t want to get sick.
My friend thinks that I’m using COVID as an excuse to flake on her. What should I do?
Canceling Plans
DEAR CANCELING PLANS: COVID-19 has disrupted everyone’s life in one way or another. Like your friend, I believe we all thought we would have this disease and its side effects in the rearview mirror by now. Sadly, that is far from the truth.
I spoke to a doctor who said that we are all going to have to figure out how to live with the disease, meaning we must take COVID-19 into account in every decision we make. This is an individual choice that should be rooted in the facts.
As of this printing, the state of Florida was facing an increase of more than 900% in COVID-19 outbreaks. Thousands of flights have been canceled, and there is no clear sense of when the numbers will drop significantly. This surely is a good reason to give you pause before jumping on a plane to go to Miami. I am not saying, “Don’t go.” I am saying, “Make smart choices for yourself and stick by them.”
While you cannot predict what the numbers will be in a couple of weeks, you do know that the outbreak will still be pervasive.
Talk to your best friend. Let her know how much you want to spend time with her around her birthday, but you have to make a decision based on your health and your research.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
