Adele Postpones Vegas Residency Rather Than Give Up Seat At Hot Slot Machine

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LAS VEGAS—Waving away her manager and Colosseum bookers, renowned pop musician Adele announced the postponement of her Las Vegas residency Friday, reportedly to avoid giving up her seat at a hot slot machine. “I was so looking forward to performing, but goddamn, I’m on one hell of a hot streak,” the Grammy-winning artist said as she signaled a Tropicana waiter for another rum and Coke and flicked cigarette ash onto the carpet, her eyes fixed on the spinning wheels of the More More Chilli slot she had been playing since 7:30 a.m. “You have to get here early and park it at one of the good ones to cash out big time, so I’d be nuts to get up now, smack in the middle of an amazing run. Don’t get me wrong, nothing means more to me than my fans, but I know they would want me to milk this machine for all it’s worth. Easy money, baby.” At press time, Colosseum representatives informed ticket holders that the shows would resume as soon as the machine went cold.