God Loses Pouch Filled With Crystals That Give Him Powers

Redirecting to full article in 5 second(s)...

THE HEAVENS—Grumbling to Himself as He frantically retraced His steps across the Heavens, God Almighty, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness, admitted to reporters Monday that He had somehow managed to lose the pouch containing the enchanted crystals that give Him His powers. “Aw, jeez, where are they? I nee…