Man Can Already See Difference In Body After Just One Week Of Starting To Decompose

Image for article titled Man Can Already See Difference In Body After Just One Week Of Starting To Decompose

BUTTE, MO—Impressed by how fast the changes were occurring, local man Marty Kerrig could reportedly already see the difference in his body Friday just one week after starting to decompose. “Wow, I began this process only a matter of days ago, and I’m feeling looser and more flexible and noticing a big shift in my overall body mass,” said Kerrig’s corpse, confirming that transforming your figure in this way wasn’t always a pleasant experience but that there was no progress without sacrifice. “Obviously, I’m just at the start of the journey right now, but I feel like if I keep plugging away, in a few months I could slim down to basically nothing.” At press time, Kerrig’s plans were reportedly scuttled after his body was discovered and pumped full of formaldehyde.