WASHINGTON—Expressing frustration at the prospect of adding yet another basketball player to their collective consciousness, the nation begrudgingly agreed Wednesday to learn Suns guard Devin Booker’s name. “Alright, alright I guess he’s good enough to start keeping tabs on, whatever,” said Elijah Forbes, echoing the sentiment of 328 million Americans who agreed to stop calling Booker “one of the Jenner’s boyfriends” or “the guy standing next to LeBron in the picture.” “As far as the Suns go, we know Chris Paul from the commercials. We like Chris. Now I guess we’ll make a little room for D-Book. Is that really what they call him? Huh.” At press time, the nation vowed to never learn the names of any player on the Utah Jazz.