Cleopatra: A highly influential Egyptian leader who helped spread bangs throughout the Ptolemaic dynasty.Rosa Parks: Yeah, like we weren’t going to include Rosa Parks. Get your head out of your ass.Advertisement
Alice Paul: A controversial figure who helped secure women’s suffrage in 1920 and immediately betrayed fellow activists by using that power to elect some asshole member of the patriarchy.Maria: Pretty good bet there has been a famous or powerful woman in history named Maria.Simone de Beauvoir: This French existentialist philosopher proved that a woman’s writing could be just as confusing and abstruse as any man’s.
Susan B. Anthony: The influential American suffragette’s life was cut tragically short when her consciousness was forever imprisoned inside the silver dollar.Anima, The Infinite: An interdimensional consciousness that will exist long after the concept of gender is abandoned to reboot our dead universe by harnessing the power of divine feminine vibrations.
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....who in the what now?
Don't forget Donald Trump accusers of sexual misconduct.
Fuck Thatcher
Nice find:
Lmao this reminds me of when Eric Andre asked mel b if Thatcher funding illegal bombing squads in Northern Ireland was girl power
Lmao
Debbie will catch you slippin'
Aunt Bea from Mayberry RFD?
Leaked?
Whoa is that Greta Thunberg
I thought she taught us to dance like an Egyptian.
Must of been easy, considering she was the last of said dynasty.
Hey she made eyeliner popular too!!
How did that work exactly? People would race to the front seats to catch what trend she’s doing or did they have a tv like invention?
Clara Barton: We just Googled “important women in history,” and she came up, but it looks like she did some pretty cool stuff with medicine or something. Pretty impressive.
Nothing says fashion like bangs on a man
Y-yes. Bangs is her most notable accomplishment.
Who we gonna bang on, bang on everyday. Who we gonna bang on when Cleo goes away?
When that failed, she tried popularizing end of life via snake bite... that didn't catch on either.
perfect
acnes spartan shield
Manic pixie dream girls and Joseph Gordon Levitt would never be the same
You guys, I swear. smh
❤️SUSHI , Key West, tireless work on the annual New Year Shoe Drop❤️
See, I figured you would have mentioned the future race of 3 breasted prostitutes, like the one I saw on that documentary 'Total Recall'.
All hail Mother T
Cleopatra rocking her new Beats headphones there
Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” - John 3:3 “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” - Matthew 4:17
Do I count? It's 2220-ish where I'm at but it's not the same universe, so it's not YOUR future. I'll give it half a point. Then again I probably only get half a point for being a 'Woman' as well. there's some grey areas around my...blue areas. I'm complicated.
a keeper this one...
Classic
I say your best odds are with the ones from the future. Still around and you might be able to get there.
Nice painting
Surprisingly comprehensive
Just like women, to make us wait.
Future is NOT looking up guys.
At first I thought it said 5 from behind and I got excited
I thought Billie Jean King was the Serena Williams of women's tennis.
Look, there's only two parties, she had to pick the lesser of two evils.
What happened to you
I know Debbie! She said she's going to save the world. The last time l saw her she was carrying this sign 👇🏼
Careful Onion, Twitter is ban happy these days over politics. Maybe you should stick to 'angry wife' satire?
Has anyone had snopes fact check this? (Said dead pan)
The Susan Collins of her day.
Debbie..
2 Steps Forward, 15 Steps Back 😌
Absolutely accurate.
Geez....The Onion writers have really gotten weird since they started working from home.
That's a spicy dish
All things considered, the original was equally ruthless
RealTrump2020_ Huh?
🤣
Come on now. You can do better than that.
People are quite upset. You did a good one onion lol. Everything's always funny until it's about something they care about
LNsmusings
Get in Mother Teresa’s flesh shredding arms.
Jesus Christ. Where the hell did that come from?
These must be trying times for satire writers. My condolences. Every day I read headlines and am disappointed to find that no, it wasn't a joke. Someone actually said/did that.
irongut88
Sorry. The Onion is just not funny anymore. Time to unfollow.
Reminds me of cindynorth1 for some reason.
semibogan Wow! Really makes you think 🤔🤔🤔
Wow!! Just Wow!! 😳🤯
kurogato
😩😩😩😭😭😭
You folks clearly need to go for a walk
To be fair, so did the original mother Teresa
Not funny
This just isnt funny or its a direct Reference to Bill Gates Microsoft gatesfoundation
I for one support turning children into a fuel source to power our needs.
At least she’s living off of a renewable resource
In fairness, it was 30 a day a month ago.
I wouldn’t have read this had I known it was robotocratic propaganda.
A live look into the Department of Treasury and their process of creating legal tender.
LOL
But which silver dollar?
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