Rats Scramble To Hide Fully Functioning Amusement Park And Resort They Built As Workers Return To Office

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CHICAGO—Squeaking wildly to one another as the almost forgotten sound of human footsteps echoed through the lobby, a swarm of rats scrambled to hide their miniature, fully functioning amusement park and resort before workers returned to a local office building, reports confirmed Wednesday. According to sources, the rats, which numbered in the hundreds if not thousands, scurried throughout the workplace, disassembling the meticulously detailed Ferris wheels, high-speed water slides, and all-inclusive hotels they had erected in the space a year ago. The rodent-sized entertainment complex—which included tiny roller coasters that zigzagged in and out of cubicles and even a lazy river in which lounging rats in inner tubes could float from the bathroom to the kitchen—was reportedly stashed away in seconds, leaving absolutely zero trace of the drop-tower ride in the stairwell, the 18-hole golf course in the conference room, the all-you-can-eat buffet in the refrigerator, or the swim-up bar in the toilet. Per sources, while the teeming families of rats who had been enjoying the park darted back into the building’s walls, ceilings, and cabinets just before the front door opened, the office manager still let out a blood-curdling scream after spotting a rat in a two-piece swimsuit sipping a mai tai behind the front desk.