BUTTPOOP69LONGFART"When I was a kid, I once stole some mail which had someone's credit card number on it, and for some reason I used it to go online and buy a coffin. When the casket company called my house to confirm delivery, I got pulled out of school by my mom and yelled at for being a thief!""I still don't know why I didn't just have it shipped to my neighbor's house.""I really wanted to color on the walls, but I knew better.
"When my parents were potty-training me, they made me stay naked from the waist down so that I had no choice but to use the toilet. Well, I once shat on the floor instead, hid the shit under the couch, and blamed the cats.ImaginaryPoint69"A few years ago, I caught my daughters in the garage spraying themselves with WD40 like it was Chanel No. 5.""When I was four, I wrapped my two-year-old brother's penis in masking tape because he said it was broken.
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