Work those fast-twitch muscles by repeatedly flipping the light switch in the conference room.Desktop computers can double as fitness balls. Simply unplug your machine, seat yourself on the monitor, and gently bounce up and down to strengthen your core.For a good cardio workout with added resistance, run five laps around the office with the photocopier strapped to your back.Build muscle mass by doing several sets of desk calendar curls.
If you find it too challenging, keep ripping out months until the weight is more comfortable.Chair tosses are a great way to bulk up. Stand in front of your desk. Grip your chair and throw it straight up in front of you. The legs should clear your head each time. Do three sets of 50.To get a good full-body workout, pull the fire alarm, stand in the exit, and push back against your coworkers as they try to escape down the stairs.
What I find hilarious about this is, 1. those machines are 2x bigger than that. 2. it's on but not plugged in, clearly haunted, which is the norm for Xerox machines. 3. nyan poptart rainbow cat printed out. I see your games. :D
But isn't running 'five laps around the office with the photocopier strapped to your back' a bit too much for a busy person? Asking for a friend 😅😂😅
I personally like to lift and curl the water gallon bottles from our coolers. It allows me to show off during cooler talks.
So smart!🤣
Haha
😂
Too bad The Office is no longer on TV. This reads like an episode called Office Olympics
This picture of this ginormous printer reminds me of that thing the old woman “donated” to Abbott Elementary. 😂🤣
But I prefer these exercises.
The onion got stupid again
Damn, thank you, needed this laugh right now.
i don't think he is carrying enough....
AlkhemystAwry
Kilograms. The fat fuck
I don’t recommend doing laps around the office with the copier strapped to your back anymore. The very last time the toner leaked out and left a bright blue stain down the crack of my pants, I was fired later that day for suspicion of stealing company pens.
BTW, is this gent married?😊
Death stranding
I used to bang one of my coworkers in the storage room. Was very hot up there. Great workout
Thanks for this easy practical guide Onion. Truly, relevant news i can use 🙏
why not most employees are already carrying the career of their boss
I do this everyday.
Nice arms bro, what's your secret? 98' Dilbert calendar curls and I replaced all my water intake with cold black coffee.
You forgot the Single-Finger Flex 🖕
𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘄 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 $9000 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 iamcallaway_b 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, everyone I’ve informed will be convinced
HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN :)
Number 10 won't suprise you XD
For extra workout, try tossing him down the stairs.
The Onion just messaged all you deep down inside go-getters in the corporate world who are sick of being the low men on the totem pole while realizing that you can be the top dogs in businesses of your own.
Actually don’t repeatedly flip any light switch, it can literally start a fire.
GORUCK 😉
pictured: death stranding irl
The onset of existential dread and panic attacks at work can be good times to practice your breathing exercises
pictured: santa
What’s an office?
Ten minutes of pelvic thrusts with a partner in the janitor’s closet at lunchtime. OK, 1 minute. I’ll walk around the building for the other 9 minutes.
The onion 🧅, never fails
Lifting my coffee cup to my big fat mouth is all the exercise I need
Joke’s on you! I don’t HAVE a job!
power move
what's an office?
he a straight up dancin
Work those calves and break that spine
MaxFragg Terry Tate approves!
HIDEO_KOJIMA_EN
Carrying the weight that your partners won’t carry themselves be like:
printer
. “He must’ve gotten canned.”
dip into the payroll & pensions accounts
curtis_powers here are some options if you wanted to mix up your morning routine!
Is this CrossFit
Thank you this is exactly the kind of inspiration i needed to get healthy this year
I was thinking something along the lines of a mini dumbell, like the pink one grandpa has, but throwing the whole copy machine on my back would be a good way to get out of my comfort zone.
keep on keeping on
Everyone loves a S-Printer
Yep, that's me
This is the first time in a while this very informative article made me burst out laughing, whoever wrote that piece deserves a raise
exerciseauthrty
I too, participate in printer lifting
I practice my speed work by avoiding all coworkers.
3 sets of 50
I think not
I used to do phone curls.
Sam Copier Bridges
Sex with secretary is my favorite 😂
These are great lol
The worst death stranding mission by far
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