filing for divorce, many people on Twitter have been left wondering whether anyone can make monogamy work.
, he has followed couples across decades in many psychological studies to see what kinds of behaviours predict whether they will stay together, or split. It specifically frames the complaints in the context of a defect in your partner, strikes at their heart, and signals the end of your relationship is set to come sooner rather than later.Gottman explains that ‘contempt’ can take the form of “name-calling, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humour.”
In doing so, we often find that we are pushing the blame onto other people – and, in failing to take responsibility for our behaviour, we damage our relationship.The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. While this may feel like the only response to a worsening situation – particularly from someone who is anxious, frustrated, or upset – it can be extremely harmful to a relationship, as it prevents conflict from getting resolved.“Not marrying my partner kept us together:” Goldie Hawn on the secret to lasting love
For example, engage in “physiological self-soothing” when you find an argument to be too intense, rather than stonewalling.
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