Research shows that becoming a parent decreases contact with friends. But outside the baby bubble, asks Gemma Askham, 38, where does that leave the childfree?
As someone childfree, a pregnancy announcement means that person is moving to a place I’ll never quite get. Despite all the memories, laughs and common ground before, some things change instantly. My ‘I can’t wait to see you!’ is met with ‘I can’t wait for you to meet them!’ – a third person already in our gang of two. Once a child is here, frustrations build.
Simple – and yet not, in practice. In my twenties, I remember the evening my housemate Julia told me she was moving in with her boyfriend. I was so happy for her and yet devastated. A decade older, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t felt disappointment when yet another couple said they had ‘some news’ – particularly if I thought they would swerve children too.
Being childfree is uncharted social territory: even meeting new faces requires more than a free bar and a Secret Santa when you’re older and breaking the mould. Last December, my husband Jordi and I moved to Paris. We’d previously lived in Sydney and Barcelona, and made friends easily. But this time I was 37 and Jordi was 40. Similar-aged expats were wrestling toddlers at the Disneyland Christmas Parade.
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