Sarah Squirm: 'I made a necklace out of my dead grandma's glass eyeball'

6/12/2020 11:54:00 PM

Sarah Squirm: 'I made a necklace out of my dead grandma's glass eyeball'

Comedy, Comedy

Sarah Squirm: 'I made a necklace out of my dead grandma's glass eyeball'

The New Yorker comedian, illustrator and gross-out merchant on the things that make her laugh

The funniest standup I’ve ever seen … I’ve never seen her live, but I remember watching a Joan Rivers standup special for the first time and literally thinking she was magic.A large group of line dancers can be seen doing the same routine and dancing in sync.An independent spectacle maker is taking the 'Deliveroo' approach to customers needing frames urgently during the lockdown - by delivering on a bike.Portuguese police still believe Madeleine McCann's parents killed her, a German prosecutor has claimed, as he exposed the "cumbersome" working relationship between rival forces.

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen … Jackass’s “Poo-Cano” in which Dave England paints his butt to blend in to a diorama of a scenic countryside, and then starts explosively shitting upwards into the air, creating, famously, a “Poop Volcano”. Genius. The dancers broke the rules which are in place at the sight which include no running or jumping. The funniest book I’ve ever read. Cubitts has also taken inspiration from Deliveroo, by hand-delivering orders by bicycle across the capital.. Holidays: The dancers broke the rules which are in place at the sight (Image: AsiaWire) The manager added: “They were part of a tour group.. He is also receiving counselling on how to deal with the intense media coverage and has appointed Johann Schwenn, one of Germany's most high-profile defence lawyers, it was disclosed yesterday.

John Waters’s Shock Value.” Mr Liu explained that the bridge is made of reinforced glass panels and wire anchors which are capable of withstanding 14,000 tonnes. "We're getting frames into our customers' hands so quickly, sometimes within 24 hours of them placing their order, and this environmentally-friendly addition to our business is one we intend to keep in place long-term. In every John Waters book, you’re like: “Wait, how can this guy be so funny in a … book?” It’s like you can hear his voice talking to you through the page. The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen. International travel post-lockdown... I personally think that she was killed a short time after she disappeared," he said.

Brass Eye! That show literally makes my whole head explode. The funniest film I’ve ever seen … Maybe Spinal Tap? I just saw it for the first time recently. Every day is a new day to find out you’re an idiot for not having seen, like, the coolest movie ever. The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned … After my grandma died, I got to keep all her prosthetic glass eyeballs (she had one missing eye … you couldn’t even tell). So, naturally, I made a necklace out of one of the eyeballs." A senior source in the Portuguese police yesterday said that they are not searching any of the suspect's former homes until they get a request from Germany.

It’s my good-luck pendant. The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten … I was eating by myself at a diner in Chicago and I watched a guy choke himself with a belt in between bites of scrambled eggs. Yeah, I don’t know what to make of that either. The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had … Long Normal Hair. The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny … My dad was working in Manhattan during 9/11 and saw it happening.

He took a piece of rubble, and now he keeps it in a drawer like a souvenir. I know it’s not funny, but I think it’s pretty funny to think of a 9/11 souvenir, like it’s from a Disneyland giftshop or something. Follow Sarah on Twitter @SarahSquirm Topics .

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Begs the classic Scottish response 'Did ye, aye' ? Slow news day? here’s the eyeball “Is that the eye of Fatima?”. “No it’s Gladys’”. Symbolic Savagery, no better than the sweet Papuan New Guinea girl who innocently brought her granny's hand to school for lunch. theashleyray She is Not wrong about that poocano

Wtf is this now? grauniadmeme I suppose 'anal beads' would have been a step too far... Weirdo!

Terrifying moment tourists fear for life on glass bridge screaming 'it's going to break!'A VIDEO showing tourists screaming has gone viral as it captivated the terrifying moment a 524-foot-high glass bridge in China shook and rattled with people on it.

WOW! The originality of the gross. That's something we've NEVER seen the superannuated mediocrities of the 15 minutes of fame cabal try to make use of before, is it? 🙄 'Here comes everybody'? 'Yeah? They went over that away. Follow the lemmings. Next!' Ladles and Jellyspoons... I present... the Left Wing

Mr Tumble's edgy girlfriend? 🤷‍♂️ Oh aye ! There are different types of implants, classification ranging from spherica vs egg, oval-shaped and the presence of a peg or motility post. Which was it you made the necklace out of Sarah Squirm? Um.......ok......

Glasses can now be delivered to you on a bike - just like how Deliveroo worksMore than 12,000 are on a 10-week waiting list for new spectacles at Boots so an independent provider has used the 'Deliveroo' method in this industry

Whatever floats your boat. ⛵️ Desperate attention seeking. Like ya do... Is this the Guardian/Onion version? Bloody great photo And that made you happy ? You'd get more mileage with her anal beads

Madeleine McCann case: Police in Portugal remain convinced parents killed daughter, says prosecutorHans Christian Wolters, state prosecutor in Braunschweig, says there is evidence suggesting Madeleine McCann is dead So does everyone else. The Cadaver dogs evidence was solid. Spot ON Sniffer dogs don't lie.

And this crazy Smile. The hot crazyness Ratio does not fit Thank you for sharing I want a necklace made out of lefty ears What the hell is that? Damn! Is this the satire account? Tevs

Walking Dead: Does Glenn die in The Walking Dead?THE WALKING DEAD has seen many characters killed off over the years - but does Glenn die in the AMC series? Of course he died. I saw it.

Dog 'almost dies' after owner strokes her with cocoa butter moisturiser on handsSarah Brown, from Lowestoft, Suffolk, has recalled the moment six-year-old Kangal Shepherd Blondie had a seizure and shook 'ferociously' in her home as she shares a warning to others

Onlooker screams in horror as women dance on a shaking glass walkwayTerrifying footage shows two rows of women, who appeared to be middle-aged, dancing enthusiastically on the trembling platform at a scenic spot in Hangzhou city of eastern China. They call it the 'Darwin Award' for a reason. Madness Idiots

The funniest standup I’ve ever seen … I’ve never seen her live, but I remember watching a Joan Rivers standup special for the first time and literally thinking she was magic.A large group of line dancers can be seen doing the same routine and dancing in sync.An independent spectacle maker is taking the 'Deliveroo' approach to customers needing frames urgently during the lockdown - by delivering on a bike.Portuguese police still believe Madeleine McCann's parents killed her, a German prosecutor has claimed, as he exposed the "cumbersome" working relationship between rival forces.

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen … Jackass’s “Poo-Cano” in which Dave England paints his butt to blend in to a diorama of a scenic countryside, and then starts explosively shitting upwards into the air, creating, famously, a “Poop Volcano”. Genius. The dancers broke the rules which are in place at the sight which include no running or jumping. The funniest book I’ve ever read. Cubitts has also taken inspiration from Deliveroo, by hand-delivering orders by bicycle across the capital.. Holidays: The dancers broke the rules which are in place at the sight (Image: AsiaWire) The manager added: “They were part of a tour group.. He is also receiving counselling on how to deal with the intense media coverage and has appointed Johann Schwenn, one of Germany's most high-profile defence lawyers, it was disclosed yesterday.

John Waters’s Shock Value.” Mr Liu explained that the bridge is made of reinforced glass panels and wire anchors which are capable of withstanding 14,000 tonnes. "We're getting frames into our customers' hands so quickly, sometimes within 24 hours of them placing their order, and this environmentally-friendly addition to our business is one we intend to keep in place long-term. In every John Waters book, you’re like: “Wait, how can this guy be so funny in a … book?” It’s like you can hear his voice talking to you through the page. The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen. International travel post-lockdown... I personally think that she was killed a short time after she disappeared," he said.

Brass Eye! That show literally makes my whole head explode. The funniest film I’ve ever seen … Maybe Spinal Tap? I just saw it for the first time recently. Every day is a new day to find out you’re an idiot for not having seen, like, the coolest movie ever. The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned … After my grandma died, I got to keep all her prosthetic glass eyeballs (she had one missing eye … you couldn’t even tell). So, naturally, I made a necklace out of one of the eyeballs." A senior source in the Portuguese police yesterday said that they are not searching any of the suspect's former homes until they get a request from Germany.

It’s my good-luck pendant. The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten … I was eating by myself at a diner in Chicago and I watched a guy choke himself with a belt in between bites of scrambled eggs. Yeah, I don’t know what to make of that either. The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had … Long Normal Hair. The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny … My dad was working in Manhattan during 9/11 and saw it happening.

He took a piece of rubble, and now he keeps it in a drawer like a souvenir. I know it’s not funny, but I think it’s pretty funny to think of a 9/11 souvenir, like it’s from a Disneyland giftshop or something. Follow Sarah on Twitter @SarahSquirm Topics .