Polyamory in a pandemic: who do you quarantine with when you're not monogamous?
Coronavirus is forcing people in poly relationships to make tough choices about who to be intimate with
Davis, a polyamorous woman living in Brooklyn, had arranged her life not having to make choices like these. “But when you love two people, in a time like this, you just have to make the call,” she said.The coronavirus has spread around the globe, infecting more than 750,000 and putting countless cities on lockdown. New social distancing guidelines have led many Americans to question whether it’s safe to touch the same basket at the supermarket as other shoppers, let alone whom it is safe to sleep with. For those who are polyamorous, meaning having intimate relationships with more than one partner, it has meant renegotiating fundamental aspects of their dating lives.
On 27 March, the New York City department of health and mental hygiene issued guidelines surrounding safe sex, advising New Yorkers not to have sex with anyone outside of their immediate households and to take a break from in-person dates. Coronavirus is highly contagious and spread by droplets of saliva or mucus, making contact with others risky.
For people who consider themselves part of the poly community, that has meant making difficult decisions surrounding sexual monogamy and cohabitation, said Daniel Saynt, founder and head of New York City sex club New Society for Wellness (NSFW).“It’s a terrifying time for non-monogamy,” Saynt said. “There has been a stronger consideration recently for coupling off. It’s kind of like cuffing season, but for corona season.”
Although just 5% of people in the US identify as polyamorous, up to 20% have attempted some form of consensual non-monogamy in their lifetimes, a 2017 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found.Cat, a polyamorous woman living in New York City who asked her last name be withheld to protect her privacy, has spent the last 14 days in self-imposed quarantine with her roommate, who had been exposed to the virus. After she leaves the quarantine, she’ll have to decide which of her two partners to see – and if it is ethical to do so. Ultimately, she said, she is leaning towards quarantining alone to avoid hurting either partner.
“Coronavirus is making everyone polyamorous, in a sense,” she said. “We all have to navigate disclosure, safety, and health in similar ways.”Being holed up at home with one partner does not necessarily mean strict monogamy, said Saynt the NSFW founder. A lot of non-monogamous couples are still seeking to interact in a virtual way, and a rise in online events is making it more accessible.
“In a way, this is also creating a new safety net for people who were curious about non-monogamy but were afraid of that initial intimacy point,” Saynt said.NSFW has started to coordinate online parties for couples to engage in non-monogamy from a safe distance. Its first online “playdate” attracted nearly 100 people who met one another through group video chats and could pair off for private sessions. Like NSFW’s in-person parties, the event had a dress code and a set of rules stressing consent and privacy. The group used the video streaming app GetVokl for the event.
New York City artist Olivia Jane has been dating their partner for seven years, and during the last two they have introduced other people into their coupling. After learning about social distancing orders, Jane and their partner cut ties with a woman they were both dating when she fled the New York City area to quarantine in a remote cabin.
Meanwhile, Jane said they have all but stopped using dating apps like Tinder and Feeld for the foreseeable future. “We are maintaining chats and sending nudes to people we were previously intimate with, but our schedule has really cleared up,” Jane said.
Their relationship with another couple who lives in Philadelphia has gone purely digital for now, but Jane said they are considering moving in together to create a quad relationship as they struggle to pay rent during the pandemic.“We are comfortable being monogamous, but we prefer not to be,” Jane said. “We are being forced back into it. But out of all the people I have to be stuck with, my primary partner is the one I would want to quarantine with forever.”Read more: The Guardian »
By yourself! because if you're like me, you're single AF and monogamy / polyamory is a hypothetical choice For God's sake Guardian!!! Is Shaniqua O’toole back tweeting again? That's it folks, we truly have reached peak Guardian...🙄 pls for a dollar have a real problem “Cat, a polyamorous woman living in New York City who asked her last name be withheld to protect her privacy...” How many polyamorous Cats are there living in New York City?
Your vibrator On the plus side, The Guardian is a good source of toilet paper. Is this a fuckin joke? Surely but slowly The Grandiun turns into the Onion before our eyes. Amiga HAHAHAHAHA lalesrw Is Polyamory just round the corner from Balamory? Oh thank goodness, that's exactly what I was wondering this afternoon.
Just one more reason that you’re doing it wrong. So not an important question or issue This isn't parody? Damn What kind of a problem is it, jeez 🤦🏻♀️ pick one The cleanlier one? I don't know. Ask your mother what she would do. I mean no disrespect to polyamory folks out there when I say this, You have my sympathy it's no doubt tough for you as it is for almost everybody in these times. But I'm more interested in how the hell we're all going to get out of this mess and save as many lives as possible.
Seriously? Fascinating..... When did y'all become majors sluts Why does the Guardian keep reporting on polyamory? Up next: Who cares? I live with my nesting partner, but I have no idea when I will see my other partner and it’s heartbreaking. The comments on here are so callous. Have some compassion. Your right hand, that's who. Porn is your friend. You're welcome
The devil? This is the crap that make me cancel The Guardian once for all. Byeee What the fuck is this shit? Stò caxx... The inconvenient truth! Hm... I think all news profile are getting mad about quarentine... 😅 Honestly? This is the garbage you are writing? What percentage of people does this involve, less than 1%? Who cares? I'm sure there's a war or something you can cover.
? Guardian = Cumrag April fool! Wanking yesterday, threesomes today. Tomorrow, the covid dillema surrounding anal fisting. C'mon.....do better!!!! This is a nothing story!!! Well they got it in before 1200 so it’s ok 👍🏼 Really? Is that the new word for hoe? parkertrondelta This is why it’s important to have a primary.
This is definitely an April fools joke 😂😂 Are you guys smoking that much? You can't pretend to be a serious newspaper and publish this... Whatever... Guardian meeting “ how can we come up with the leftist view and write a story about it with a pandemic happening ?” Curfew passes a must for non-monogamous
awesome = when the comments are far superior than the article. Youare taking the piss now! McKeeMSport OH MY GOD I would wipe my arse with this article but it’s digital so it would prove tricky and expensive. Also it made me laugh so has some merit! Your like the daily mash! This rag is now The Beano for Woke meteropolian perverts
Google: Show me a totally only in The Guardian article. It's the 1st of april. Maybe this is a clue Trust the Guardian to ask the important questions to which we must have an answer 😂 You grow up? 🎶What's the story in Polyamory, what's the story today? 🎵 What's the st... actually I don't give a fig. Ethics? Jesus !
Oh, Guardian, your (anti-crap)guard has been down for a lonnnnnnnng time. Tnx for the repeated weekly disappointments - wasting web space, working hours, electricity and bandwidth. Have a beer, read a book, have a nap, OK? Tnx. 🤦♀️ You are more absurd every day. All three of your subscribers got their answer
Still rolling with the sex in a pandemic theme. Did pornhub_premium not make content free in the UK? This is what some people are worried about? My fiancé is in NYC with symptoms of corona and I’m isolating with my parents in U.K.. I want to be there for him but I can’t. At least these people have a choice. If their relationship doesn’t hold out, wasn’t very strong to begin with
Imaginary wife and imaginary girlfriend Guardian is wall to wall BS What a name is that!? Eenee meenee minee mo... Why are you even writing anything? You really have no idea what is about to happen in a week's time? Start behaving better, and do journalism. Good job Micheal Jackson isn’t around now, he’d be going through bitter choices!
Stumps me. Hahaha! And we wonder how diseases spread. Polyamorous! For goodness sake! Perverted, Amoral and licentious more like! I honestly have no idea why I follow this rag anymore. Getting used to none but their hand for the time being, I’d imagine. Maybe they should just make their mind up and pick one 🤔
“It’s a terrifying time for non-monogamy,”..Silvia_beelover you are going to loooove this one 😂 Guardian reporters are definitely working from home 🙄 The guardian is despicable. delete your account and shutdown your comic of a “newspaper” Oh my god. This is a real story. Dear dear. I read another article somewhere written by a 'mistress' struggling in her quarantine cz the guy is with his wife 😛🤭 Mayb one of you can go give her company.
Thanks for that. Because *that's* the question we've all been asking.
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