Behind closed doors, my father was physically violent to me and my mother, regularly and without restraint
I watched this dynamic throughout my life, initially at home and later with men and women in countless workplaces, social circles and gatherings, I watched women make themselves smaller, as men made themselves bigger. On one occasion, I remember being tutored by him on how to explain my mother’s black eyes. ‘Tell them I was playing with the dog and the keys flew out of my hand and they hit her,’ he told me, calmly.
Still later, I learned this was a relatively common starting point for domestic violence. Studies have shown that 60% of survivors using domestic abuse services are mothers and one in 15 are pregnant women. People, for the most part, don’t like to make a fuss, even when the evidence is being brought to them,We allow the instances of bad behaviour in favour of staying within the comfortable boundaries of social convention.
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