“My best sex ever was... a threesome with my husband”

Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl plans sexcation to Amsterdam so they can have a no-strings threesome

7/31/2021 11:56:00 PM

Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl plans sexcation to Amsterdam so they can have a no-strings threesome...

Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl plans sexcation to Amsterdam so they can have a no-strings threesome

Apr 2, 2020Getty ImagesIt’s 8pm on a Sunday night and my husband Matt* and I are lying on a hotel bed in Amsterdam. I’m wearing a see-through lace top, schoolgirl miniskirt and knee socks. He’s in a shirt and jeans. Both of us are watching the clock, nervous. Any minute now, Dita, the high-end escort we met online, will arrive.

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I never ever dreamt I’d be a sexual tourist, let alone the kind who hires prostitutes with her husband. I was a bit of a wild child in my early twenties, but by the time Matt and I got together, I was done sowing my wild oats. With Matt, I haven’t missed my bisexual past of threesomes and more-somes; we have great sex, just the two of us.

But one drunken night after a party, we ended up in the champagne room of a strip club and things got very raunchy, very fast. We decided we wanted more.However, most of the ‘women’ on adult dating sites are actually couples, and I simply don’t want to have sex with another guy. We’re committed to a hot, no-strings encounter with a sexy woman... no compromises. But we quickly learn why single women seeking married couples are known as unicorns: they barely exist. headtopics.com

So, since people outsource everything from pet-sitting to pedicures, we think, ‘Why not hire a professional for our sex lives?’ We settle on Amsterdam because prostitution is regulated there, and sex workers have more rights than they do in most places.

After browsing dozens of NSFW websites, we land on Dita, an independent escort and porn actress who claims to enjoy the ‘company of charming gentlemen, Epicurean couples, and women, to share moments of complicity’.She also charges 1,000 euros for two hours. But hey, we’re only going to do this once, right?

Over email, we set up an appointment and go over the particulars (time, outfit, Dita’s outfit: schoolgirl, please). Then before our trip, the impossible happens: we find a unicorn. Ella, an old FWB from my wild-child days, messages me out of the blue, and I tell her about our quest over a glass of wine. Next thing I know, she’s come over for dinner, and let’s just say that Matt’s famous linguine isn’t the only thing that gets eaten that night.

Threesomes with Ella become a regular thing, but we decide to honour our appointment with Dita anyway. You know... for science.So, here we are, days later, in our hotel in Amsterdam, with Dita.“You’re gorgeous!” she cries, hurrying past Matt to me (and earning instant brownie points). She’s beautiful: tall and slender with sparkling green eyes and cheekbones that could cut ice. She removes her coat to reveal a skirt like mine and a skimpy shirt hugging fake breasts as gravity-defying as ripe coconuts clinging to a palm tree. After discreetly pocketing the pile of notes on the table, she sends Matt to undress. Then she turns to me. headtopics.com

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“What are your boundaries for tonight?” she asks in a Slavic accent. “Is there anything that will make you uncomfortable?”Of course, Matt and I have talked about this. I’ve told him about times I got jealous during past threesomes and he’s reassured me, saying, “We don’t have to do this. It’s just a fantasy. Your feelings are more important.”

Knowing Matt will always put my heart before his cock makes me bold enough to tell Ditaanything goes. When Matt returns, naked and a little bashful, she empties her backpack onto the bed.She lubes it up and works it inIt looks like the entire inventory of Ann Summers: a dozen vibrators, butt plugs and anal beads, a syringe (!) of lube, a leather harness with two sizes of strap-on, and even a fluffy foxtail. The foxtail, it turns out, attaches to a butt plug. She lubes it up and works it in, then prances around in six-inch stilettos, purring and preening. We’re impressed.

Image SourceGetty ImagesThe next two hours are like being in a porn movie where Dita’s the director and star. She manoeuvres us into impossible-seeming positions and rolls out toy after toy, never breaking her naughty-schoolgirl character.Matt and I high-five like freshers as she takes both of us at the same time (me with her strap-on, he with his cock – condom-clad, of course). Then I’m the one getting double-teamed. As I’m riding her, she nestles a vibe against my clit. We’ve been at it for more than an hour and I realise I should probably come, but I’m overstimulated. It’s as if I’m experiencing the whole thing as performance rather than pleasure.

Her pleasure – like her enthusiasm and her creative scenarios – is fakeThis, I start to realise, is the difference between commercial and non-commercial sex. When we’re with Ella, it’s all about what feels good for all three of us. Turning Ella on turns me on. It’s not cinematic, but the way she smells and feels and sounds is really what sends me over the edge. Dita moans and writhes too, but she’s not here with us for me to make her come (trust me, I try). She’s here because it’s her job. headtopics.com

Her pleasure – like her enthusiasm and her creative scenarios – is fake. Being with her is campy and a lot of fun, but it lacks the kind of personal connection that makes sex feel really erotic. I do eventually climax, using one of Dita’s vibrators on myself while Matt f*cks her. Afterwards, we collapse on the bed and talk for a while before she packs up her bag of tricks and leaves.

Later, Matt and I venture out as well. Even on a quiet winter night, there’s always something going on in Amsterdam, and I want to find a souvenir for Ella before we leave. Read more: Cosmopolitan UK »

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“My best sex ever was... a threesome with my husband”Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl plans sexcation to Amsterdam so they can have a no-strings threesome...