Sex, Coronavirus Outbreak, Infectious Diseases, Relationships

Sex, Coronavirus Outbreak

Is there a safe way for me to enjoy casual sex during the coronavirus crisis?

Is there a safe way for me to enjoy casual sex during the coronavirus crisis?

3/31/2020 2:05:00 PM

Is there a safe way for me to enjoy casual sex during the coronavirus crisis?

I have always practised safe sex. Is it possible to find a way to engage in sex with strangers during the current situation?

I’m not sure if Covid-19 can penetrate latex, but in any case you need to restrict your erotic practices to those in which you can achieve proper physical distancing. There is really no way to safely get close enough to strangers for sex without a hazmat suit, and the erotic cachet of that scene would be extremely limited. Erotic phone or online conversations would be safest, during which it is possible to recreate any kind of fantasy scenario you can imagine. Think of these trying times as opportunities to expand your erotic creativity using different media platforms. Stay safe!

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What? If your dick is over 2m long, then yes. Er, no!!! new low for guardian that is lol I didn’t read this but frankly 😂😂😂 What the heck!!! Has The Guardian account been hacked? I thought it was news media! This is the kind of thing I would have read in a a teen magazine. Is it possible to have sex with someone whilst they are in a different room?

I got sent this last night I just said I’d see her in 10-12 weeks it’s safer, easier & less effort than most of this - cba Big question This article is so pathetic - more click bait - seriously why not furlough the writers they add little value Yes. Casual masturbation If casual sex is still one of ur top priorities and jobs in isolation kept u clueless about reality,probably u should be immune from contracting the virus anyway.Go out have fun and enjoy every moment of life,even better order a Chinese bat🦇online to fuck.

I think you need to 'self satisfy' celibacy Dear Hedonistic Twat Either make friends with your own hand or get over yourself. Cheers! The poor Guardian, sinking to tabloid depths for the revenue clicks. Like a newspaper Belle de Jour staring at the ceiling in self loathing whilst being enthusiastically humped by sleazy ad execs.

The article is an answer by Pamela Stephenson Connolly to a question asked. Appears a serious answer to a serious question. My less serious answer is that the person who asked needs to listen to P!nk more often. Confucius say 'Man go to bed with problem in hand wake up with answer on chest' Hahah yes.... talk to the hand..

No ho... Ofcourse. There is a very safe way. Use a mixture of cyanide and mercury dissolve an ounce of polonium into the mixture if your cock doesn't fall off after administering then you are ready to for sex. Sure just put a condom on your thumb Important public information service from the grauniad FFS.

Once every 2 weeks. This is hardly important. Fucking watch porn for a few weeks, ffs. NO. Saved you a click. Don't Yes but only with members of your household 🙄 Hmmm. No No No No No. Really? I remember when The Guardian was a serious newspaper. This is News of the World level stuff Well, for hideous people like myself, theres always a bottle of jack and an eternity of darkness.

Seriously, now indulging in readers who are so backward that have no self control in a pandemic? There's porn, there's masturbation, ffs, why are we even discussing this when people are dying and risking lives saving the latter?! 'No' Grow Up! Another load of bollocks from you Looks like the Guardian wants blocking

The issue is about knowing what the state of contagion really is in the immediate and neighbouring zones.A reporting system for confirmed /suspected cases and a zone free clearance would help both prevent spread and enable recovery.Requires a dynamic portal and RespectForPrivacy ATHE1STP0WER Seriously

Seriously!..... is reducing itself to a sensationalist pointless better than the daily mail Been enjoying it by myself for years. Never once got anyone pregnant or contracted an std other than knacker ache. Only if the person you want to have casual sex with is living in the same house/apartment as you and has been there since the lockdown, otherwise, see if you can find some old copies of Razzle down the back of the sofa. coronavirusuk

There is no truly safe way to have sex. There is always the possibility of a goose watching from somewhere and waiting to attack. The question on everyone’s mind 😹 How about enjoy casually enjoy reading a book, pot noodle then a wan=k ffs - God, let's hope so! Is there a way that this article could be a bigger tribute to entitlement?

EllieKateLily is there a way in general though? Yes, light a few candles and go that casual and sexy Have. A. Wank. Words fail me... presumably.🤔😳 Lol no! 😂 No! Jesus Christ! You can’t wait? I should be so lucky. Depends how big it is. There has never been a safe way to enjoy “casual” sex. Reproductive organs are like fireworks. You can play with them, but they are explosives.

Seriously who on earth would even right or even publish crap like this in this crisis.😱🤯😱🤯😉🤯😫🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤪🤪🤪retarded editor Get a fucking grip. The question's answered in the title..perhaps it shows how shallow some people's lives are. Sex is perfectly normal & natural but if you're still concerned about how you're next going to get your leg over vs living w/ the virus, perhaps your priorities aren't in the right place?

Not if you’re a Guardian reader you can never be sure of not catching a dose of common sense I wouldn't think so. especially with the 6 ft distancing rule. Which one?! 🙄 No...join the rest of us enforced celibates!!! no No. This is why this will go on forever in the UK, because of people like this Yes:watch porn by yourself.

Is this the best content you can come up with at a time like this? No wonder you are begging us all for money. How stupid are exactly? With Palmela Sting swears by tantric sex. I'm not sure what it is ... something like sitting cross legged, 2 metres apart from your paramour and chanting a strange Himalayan dialect. I tried it once with an inflatable doll. She just farted and flew out the window.

Social distance honey.... 😆 Can't find anything better to write about Yes, with full on PPE You can self-love yourself poor us ! too tired for the hand job🤭 BRUH. Bend over, but no coughing. nuteller 🥺🥺🥺 If you have full PPE.i can somehow see this becoming a kink in the future 🤣 Why are people promoting this? In my opinion, by keeping promoting these activities we are putting relationships at risk. We are notmalising it too much. And it does affect relationships in many ways.

Are you kidding me? From six feet away... Lets get visual I suppose. Yes with your hand! Yes, with yourself in the comfort of your home Is he fing serious? Yes, with yourself Guys, stop it What part of social distancing don't you understand? 🙄 Casual sex by definition is unsafe. Unless you define safe as ‘not getting pregnant’. But that’s not what your title implies, right?

just dont have casual sex during covid Do you wear the condom over the full body condom or inside, asking for Batman. True genius this article. Thank you. No there fucking isn’t get a grip Tie a plastic bag over her head with a long hose for her breathing What the actual fuck. Could have shared this in a tweet

Yeah. Use your hands then wash it afterwards Yes there is: look in the mirror and seduce who's looking back, 100% sure you'll succeed. Through the letterbox? this is the least of my least corono has given me an excuse for why I never get laid 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you can have sex from 2 metres then hats off to you, otherwise no. Is that less formal than “smart casual” sex? masturbation is a solution I have never heard such a dumb question in all my life, no offence but how thick can you possibly get? You literally have to be right up to someone to do that. So the answer should have been obvious to them anyway!

Yip it's just arms length away. Have at it boy The short answer - NO. Time to exercise the hand. Wait...what? This is why the west is collapsing. A public emergency and all these degenerates can think of is getting off No No. What, you want the rona AND gonorrhea? No First world concern. Wow. Sleeze much. Really? 🙄

Glory hole Start using body size French letters Use both hands and your imagination :) What about glory holes? More perverted articles from the Guardian! What sort of sexually-obsessed individuals run your paper? Sex with strangers =AIDS No No Try phone sex , Skype sex , or use your 10ft penis and you’ll be fine.

Once again, the Guardian asking the questions that matter. 🙄 Gatherings of more than 2 persons banned, so no threesomes! Madam Palm and her five daughters. No FaceTime sex. Someone please remind me why anyone follows The Guardian the safest way to enjoy casual sex is to not do it One usually hires casual staff to do that sort of thing. It's rather like hiring staff to press one's shirts and whatnot....

Someone actually wrote an entire article about this? OMG.🤦‍♂️ if you honestly don’t know the answer to this ridiculous headline & you have to ask....catching COVID19 isn’t the only thing you need to worry about in life. For targeted individuals it is 24/7 casual sex by unknown people doing it through covert electromagnetic technology.

Most of the folks on Porn Hub aren't on first name terms with the viewers so they count as strangers? I really wish Mrs Bercow would stop writing in to the Guardian. Wanna make 💰 5⃣0⃣0⃣0⃣ real quick ❓no catches..lmk ASAP 🇨🇦 NO UPFRONT 🚫 If there was a firing squad operating near you,you'd be the first deserving victim i would nominate.....moronic lowlife

Tough luck if you don’t live with the person you sleep with... that is the answer to this question 🙄 Have a wank no. stop. Oh Guardian...... Y'all need to get laid THAT BADLY? Is there a safe way for the guardian to report actual news 🤔 Nope. No. That's why people do it. STD’s can be worst than the virus Sure! Look for the immune ones!

Behavior needs supply /babydoll.Hard to find Living creature that eccept the relation. Only The Guardian could come up with this crap Why is this up for discussion. Stop having premarital sex and wait for marriage or the right person. Now, we have a pandemic and all you think about is sex. Use this to fight covid

Yeah... one last time😈😈 This self isolation is starting to have an effect on you isn’t it... Vibrator and latex glove. Just masturbate. It is safer. No Oh for God’s sake It's embarrassing how the guardian has stooped to gutter press. So Guardian Sad that this passes for journalism Use alcohol sanitiser on it before and after.

Priorities people... It's more about power and control, and nothing to do with the need to feel loved or intimacy. Use the time get off on Coronavirus Porn on pornhub. Yes you will know after 9 months 😜😜 when sudden rise in number of babies born me reading this like anyone wants to f*ck w me 🤡 Sure, with the new Durex coronavirus body condom... play safe folks 😉

Leave bodily fluids in marked vials at doorsteps for subsequent ingestion while always maintaining physical distancing guidelines. Why would anyone write this Oh sweet jebus we really are in the age of the moron ... No. If you follow this guideline not problem Has to be peak Guardian! thank you very cool WTF

Get a Snapchat harem. Is this a spoof? Wanker.. Duh. Haha using Zoom? Is someone genuinely asking this? Ffs 🙄 Obviamente, não. Sexo seguro numa pandemia é masturbar-se dentro de uma caixa. ffs just put some porn on and wank like everyone else You have a hand. .... Scissors? I’m going with no Either Demolition Man or

Priorities correct. Nil desperandum You can but please don’t rape anyone Peak in a week, speaking of the Corona virus only. Glory holes and Saran wrap Tem gente que é doente, será que não pode ficar sem sexo por um tempo? eu hein, toma uma banho gelado que passa o fogo no rabo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the absence of God in the hearts of the men, the contempt for family values, the humanist, consumerist and avaricious culture led the West to decline and this matter plays a part in all of this.

waj_man No, competitive sex only. Prepare to die Simple answer- no. How is this even an article. 😂 Just don't have sex for a bit. Use your other hand. Really? Surely you can keep your pants on that has become tricky now.. safe sex used to mean about the genital area contact and protection but now it also includes the air you are breathing within 2 metres from a person..

Seriously? You can go to Brighton for pride..10000s of men and woman, whom are equally sexually frustrated 😂😂😂...are to be unleashed Hopefully not if your in isolation with you're mum.... No. You gonna die. Your turn in the barrel. Yes, have a casual wank and stop talking to yourself. Just jack off, you jack off

You going to need a long dick. About 2m apart... We're in still in March, and I'm considering writing a book called '2020: My Sexless Year'. That's how optimistic I am. What if the hazmat suit is the fetiche? Or what if someone creates a fullbody condom with a strategic hole? get married 🌞 This is a culture of pure death. We need to reassess our lives

The answer lies in your own hands Ask Grumpy Skeletor...he's got an answer for everything... How about that silver ball from that futuristic Sly Stone movie? Who tf thought this would be a good article to write at this moment in time ..? SocialDistancing Errrrrr, no. 😂 SocialDistancing Never heard of 'self service sex'?! Please make a google search!

The safest gear proly dildo and video call Are you fucking me? This? Now? Is this a trick question? Are you my PE teacher from catholic school? What’s going on? Yes you can Oh fk off 🙄 Condom and face mask combo should suffice. No. Next question Umm what? Casually wanking. Or if you feel more energetic, go at like a piston fisted gibbon.

Stay at home and rub one out. It's the champagne of champions. are you actually having a laugh with this article? Your editor actually ok’d this to go to print today did they? no just watch some porn and handle it Casual sex is much better than formal sex. Porn hub and right hand? Well, you gotta keep distance, which I don't think you can do while doing someone.

I recommend chaturbate How is this a priority? Reeeeally!? You should be ashamed Down very very very very very low Sit on your hand. Pretend you don't know it anymore. Enjoy casual sex with palmala Society’s safety v. My urge to bust a nut in a stranger... hmmmm tough call Bush, bush, bush, bush.... No income tax, no V.A.T., No money back, no guarantee, Black or white, rich or poor, We'll cut prices for a stroke... God bless Hookup Street, Viva Hookup Street, Long live Hookup Street, C'est magnifique, Hookup Street, Magnifique, Hookup Street,

Um, no? Glory hole 🙊 Sounds like you are already playing with yourself Onanism No mofo. Keep it in your pants. 😐 Yeah...visit 'Mrs Palm & her five daughters' fast & safe! No. 😒😒 this paper is getting dumber by the day Turn into being autosexual 😂 FFS Put a condom in your tongue Only if you do it Jewish style, through a hole in the sheet. There’ll be a lot of one-eyed ghosts come Halloween!

🤣 The Guardian plunging new depths of idiocy. What’s the difference between casual sex and formal sex? No. Selfish bastard. Yes,but it might make you blind according to what I was told as a kid 😂 Should THIS be a question? No Nope, it's a strictly formal arrangement from now on old chap. 🖐🏻 VR wanking I'm so glad the Guardian is here to answer the really important questions.

U can always wank As if anyone at the guardian has sex Oh sweet jesus!! ..if someone can't keep their Charlie in their pants for a few months then they need much more help than any of us on Twitter can provide! They also need to be thinking with their big head too! casualsex getagrip COVID19 Plastic bag over your head? Vibrator / empty Chip packet?

Guardian is the new 'News of the world'...just STOP!!! ................. Jesus H Clean each side really well, wear protection and eyewear, draw straws as to who goes first. Say thank you. Typical Guardian material👍 You make me laugh in this time the doctors are not touching the real patients and you want to do something which can end in

derdini sikeyim ... oh wait Yes, lie on your arm until it falls asleep and use dominant arm to use the asleep arm to whack yourself off. Every day you can name him or her something else. Are we short of things to report on these days? .MattHancock bold. I like it Fucking useless paper. this is so stupid, I love it MinervSnap

Chaturbate No, please stay at home. Yes, with your hand. What a stupid story. double condom and not using tongue :) Key word reading the article: “I’m not sure” lol there’s your answer. Another one of the self centered many that do not understand the concept of a global pandemic virus and self isolation and who will spread many diseases including the virus then complain about the level of service when in quarantine, hospital or the ICU.

Only if you have a two metre long appendage. I will summarize the article: No, nevertheless you still have your hand and imagination. I have used the best resources of modern science, and I am ecstatic to be able to announce I have discovered a method of engaging in 100% safe casual sex, anywhere, any time, with ZERO risk of contracting COVID-19, or any sexual infection, including HIV:-

No...fuckwit Sure liquid latex a leather mask & a whip should work to find out Coronavirustruth 😏 Wank on, my friend NO I shall consult the Guardian for my erotic practices and suggestions from now on. Less than 15 minutes? Can be done Use Webex 👌 There's always a way. Keep being a tosser 🤔 Rolling my eyes x 10 at this question, response & tweet.

There's a business idea there - a Tinder for the infected... all the fun with no incremental risk The fuck? FFS With your (washed) hand Sit on your non dominant had until it goes numb. Use that. Phone sex. Hands. Different dolls. Remember dead people are still contagious NO Durex profits have plummeted. Yes, as long as no one else is present. As a Grauniad reader, that shouldn't present any difficulties for you.

Coronavirus foreplay LOL Sure. Gotta lay low. Gloryhole and a bin bag. Sorted. No FFS. Literally. 😂😂😂 No. You stupid fcukwit. Next. in a hazmat suit theres a movie with Stallone where they do it from 2 meters appart.. in the year 2020 or something like that: is it robotcop? 😉 Mask you need.. Just casually stay at home and casually avoid it

No Take the suit and tie off Phone sex. Skype sex. Pick one. Um no Ask them whether they think they’re incubating a virus within the states two-week period, and take their temperature. Easy. Letterbox. Bargepole No. If you have a condom, make sure you put it over your head! 🤣 The answer is yes and it's by sexting. That's the entire one paragraph article

Yes, from 2m apart Corpses Yes. With own hand. Wank into your best Fred Perry. Casuals sex at its finest. If you can have it from 2.2 m. distance Yep, it’s called masturbation... By not doing it. 'sex with strangers' I think you might be suffering from a disease already. Jeeezzzzzz🙄 No. No No, there is not! Monogamy, my friend.

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