After the distressing birth of his daughter, Elliott Rae struggled with post traumatic stress disorder, but went without help for over a year. He's now urging dads to talk about their problems - and to avoid the agony he went through."I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness," he says, remembering that sticky summer's evening five years ago.
Elliott was plagued by flashbacks of her birth and the frightening weeks that followed. It kept him up at night and could choke even the easiest of chitchat with colleagues.When he eventually got help, Elliott was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and has published a book, Dad, in which he opens up about his experiences of fatherhood, together with 19 other dads.
He held Soneni's hand and together they put the breathing exercises they'd learnt at their hypnobirthing classes into practice.Group B Streptococcus infectionMost of the time GBS isn't harmful to the mother or the baby - but in this case, it was. Within minutes Elliott was stumbling down a thin corridor towards the neonatal intensive care unit , his tiny daughter being wheeled in an incubator just ahead. He'd kissed Soneni goodbye and promised to be back soon.
Earlier he'd wheeled his wife into the Nicu and they'd been allowed a few moments to cradle their daughter before returning her to the incubator. She'd looked up at them and reached out her hands. Leaving her behind, surrounded by wires, was heart-wrenching for them both. "I remember wondering where all these tears were coming from, because I cried all night," says Elliott.
Soneni, meanwhile, recognised that she needed some help and was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety a few months after giving birth.But almost as soon as Elliott and Soneni felt they were hitting their stride, their daughter had a severe allergic reaction to wheat and had to be rushed to hospital. "I thought of PTSD as something only soldiers get after going to war, now I know it can be triggered for anyone who has had a traumatic life-changing or life-threatening event," says Elliott.Music Football Fatherhood
It was horrible seeing my wife and son in trouble and while it was obviously important I get out of the way and let the professionals help them, I sat in the corner helpless. Did it affect me? Did it take me time to work through? Yes. Did I man up? Yes, because they needed me to
Have a conversation with a health professional who working in perinatal mental health until you comment - this stopping men coming forward and is not useful - why we have high rates of suicide in men - I am happy to chat face to face with all of you in one room to educate
Compensation claim imminent
no
A kidnapping gave me mind. Of course I go get kidnapped again. I wish I was kidding
This nonsense where oh the father needs to be in the room when the mom gives birth is getting out of hand. Stop turning men in to dam women. Men and women are not equal and will never be it’s in the genes. The lines are getting blurred between men and women.
لا_لإبادة_الكلاب_و_القطط_في_الجزائر❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌ Stop_galoufa_en_Alger stop_galoufa_en_Algérie
No, not having it. First rule of being a dad is Dad Up, birth is nothing compared to the first 5 years of looking after a kid.
Oh ffs
MFFonline_ I had no idea, this really moved me & I am soo glad you have been consistently working to make your experiences helpful to other men. Blessings & abundance upon you and your family
🙄🙄🙄🙄
I got PTSD after having a Shat after constipation for a month!
Oh I have just seen the bottom of the article and all as become clear, he’s writing a book well done BBC free advertising again
At first I thought how could he possibly have PTSD just witnessing childbirth, but I had never thought about the role of the man and the helplessness he could feel when there was an emergency. Thank you for speaking up and shinning light on this topic.
Oh Lord, I feel PTSD creeping up on me reading such rubbish He ain't got PTSD, he's a wuss It's a birth, these things happen kind on regular base w/o need for therapy
So many black men haven't.
Get a life
What a wuss!
My PTSD came from passing through the British school system. Could the BBC do something on the abuse of British schools by the British state, to reinforce Britain's class system and the grinding second-class treatment many/most majoritarian children will receive? Thank you.
And he’s been on benefits ever since?
Bless you😂Women able to deal with it😉..I hope you recover!All the best🥰
I absolutely hate the majority of these comments. It can be traumatic and stressful to witness. You are stood there and witness something life changing. The possibility that your partner is in agony, ripping open and bleeding and you can’t do anything.
I didn't get PTSD but my partners birth was very very stressful for us both. She had diamorphine twice and just before an epidural they realised my son was in a breach position and she then got rushed in for an emergency C section. It can effect dads...not just mothers.
Seriously?
People went through 6 years of war and never had these ailments.
He'll be off elsewhere soon enough
I know what you're saying. It's like watching your favourite pub burn down..
Thank u mum ,thanks wife.
It's good that the experience of fathers is getting more attention. Witnessing a birth is stressful and can be very traumatic, especially when there are complications.
Thats a new one.
I burst out laughing. Them thought well maybe it was a traumatic birth! FOR THE MOTHER!!
Are there no journalistic checks at the BBC anymore? It doesn't look like it. Bloody hell BBC get a grip.
I got PTSD realising some men are complete sooks.
United Kingdom Latest News, United Kingdom Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: OK_Magazine - 🏆 12. / 84 Read more »
Source: Daily Express - 🏆 26. / 68 Read more »
Source: The Mirror - 🏆 136. / 51 Read more »
Source: Daily Mail Online - 🏆 135. / 51 Read more »
Source: OK_Magazine - 🏆 12. / 84 Read more »
Source: Daily Mail Online - 🏆 135. / 51 Read more »