How these women knew their long-term partner wasn't right for them

'I saw us as a team, and they saw me as their adversary.'

9/25/2021 8:08:00 PM

'I saw us as a team, and they saw me as their adversary.'

'I saw us as a team, and they saw me as their adversary.'

6."I didn't want to be with only him for the rest of my life""When he told me that he only wanted to be with me for the rest of his life, and I honestly felt sick and panicky at the thought of that. We were just too incompatible to continue to work on our relationship and move forward."

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[via]7."He saw me as his adversary""I was having an argument with my ex (I don't even remember what it was about now) and I said, 'It's not about winning, it's about us understanding each other and working it out'. And he just looked at me in utter disbelief and said, 'Of course it's about winning!' It really hit me why we struggled so often; I saw us as a team and he saw me as his adversary."

[via]8."I didn't want his kids""When I had a thought that I wouldn’t want him to be the father of my 'future children'."HBO9."We weren't that close""When I accepted I no longer enjoyed our time together enough. I liked him as a person and friend still, but we weren't close friends and we weren't compatible to be close friends. That needs to exist in a relationship IMO. I remember one week I realised I contacted my best friend far more, and wanted to see her more than I wanted to see my ex. I'm sure he felt the same."

[via]10."He became possessive""When we started college and I joined a student society, and he became very possessive because he didn't like me having a social life outside of my school and family. We lasted a little under a month after that because that's how long it took me to realise he really wasn't going to have a change of heart."

[via]11."I met someone else""I had known for a while but was denying it in order to keep everyone else happy. I didn't fully believe I could do better, but met someone who was what I thought to be so far 'out of my league'. [It] made me realise that nobody is out of anyone's 'league', that it isn't even a real thing, and that I could do better for my life in so many ways. I didn't cheat on him with this

better[via]12."I couldn't see a future together""My ex wanted to marry me, and I genuinely couldn't see a future together. Anytime it was brought up, it felt like I'd swallowed a stone. We argued like a cat and a raccoon over a lot, even the minor stuff, and there were too many incompatibilities and inconsistencies between us to envision longevity. I knew if I married him, it would be like us willingly shackling ourselves to anchors. Sounds harsh, but I couldn't see either of us being happy, or even close to it down the road."

Getty Images13."The relationship drained me""Personally, I wasn't happy anymore. The relationship drained me (financially and emotionally) and I always felt like this wasn't my whole 'potential of feeling love' anyway."

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[via]14."When there's more bad moments than good"When there's more bad than good moments and you are questioning your future together. I ended a relationship I knew I should have much sooner, and it was a relief and weight lifted off my shoulders when I finally ended it."

[via]15."When you're walking on eggshells""When you look forward to getting away from them and you are walking on eggshells around them. If you are living together and home isn't a haven its time to make a change. If they they don't make you feel good thats no good."

"My advice is to listen to your gut feelings"16."When the main reason I'm not ending it is inconvenience""When circumstantial inconveniences (such as having to move, split items, decide who gets pets, etc) feel like the main reason I’m not doing ending it, that’s when it’s time."

[via]17."I knew early on but continued in the relationship""I always knew very early on. My trouble is that I believe all relationships need some work, so I continue in the relationship. My advice is to listen to your gut feelings. If during the first one to two months you have a gut feeling it’s not right for you - leave them. Also, the small things that will bother you in the beginning of a relationship will kill you at the end. It’s better to talk and fix it right away."

[via]18."I had a really bad feeling" Read more: Cosmopolitan UK »

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