Father calls for more postnatal depression support for men after having breakdown
Up to one in 10 new fathers suffer from postnatal depression after having a baby, research shows.
The thought of failing his family both emotionally and financially accelerated the feeling that he was falling apart.He's now working to make sure that men aren't just"a plus one" in pregnancy but are supported in their journey to becoming a dad.
James, pictured at the top of this story with baby Ted in hospital, says this is the only photo they have together for the first four months of his son's life.He says he was incapable of smiling, despite desperately trying. The next photo they have is months later of James feeding Ted solids.
For that time in between, James was absent. James' wife and baby moved to his mum's for support as Hannah was faced with looking after a newborn while her husband was going through a breakdown.Image:Fathers at an antenatal classHannah phoned every day but there was a three-week period where James cut himself off completely, unable to cope.
James' relationships were heavily impacted.He says:"I couldn't relate to anyone. I had failed as a man, a husband, and now a dad. Hannah asked me at one point if I loved Ted, but back then I couldn't say yes. I couldn't feel anything. It wasn't that I blamed him in any way at all. He deserved better than me and he represented everything that was my failure."
James had intensive therapy and eventually moved home with Hannah and Ted. He had been a currency dealer for over a decade and following a long absence, made it back to work. After James' career had been a central part of his life, he says a sense of embarrassment at being labelled"unfit for work" was another reason he avoided help sooner.
James says becoming a dad the second time around to son Charlie was a different story."A moment of utter euphoria and a realisation of what child birth for a father can feel like," he says."I was in a totally different place. Hannah has been amazing throughout and I'm so grateful we are where we are but it's been quite the journey. My experiences allow me to grasp the enormity of just how brilliant it is to be a dad."
Alongside his job, James has a new role. He is now a"Dads' Champion" forHappy Parents. Happy Baby.which runs antenatal courses.He says:"I had two wildly different experiences of becoming a dad. And I know I'm a more extreme case of what most men and partners typically go through but there's a scale and it's a transition. Even if the bulk of men experience diluted versions of some of the feelings I felt, they need to be talked about and as a society, we need to do more.
"I'm working with Happy Parents. Happy Baby. because this is what they're all about and by teaming up, I can do my little bit for the thousands of dads who are coming through the course each year." Read more: Sky News »
Crikey thank god he didn’t have to give birth! FFS. Wimps should not become fathers. Sterilize them. Imagine growing up with an arsehole like this for a dad. Let’s see, what area of society hasn’t been tapped for victim hood? Oh, post birth depression, I’ll take that. Get a grip you melt . Grow a pear Soy, soy, soy, soy, soy
grow up. You mean depression,unless iam misunderstood that men carry the female hormone which iam sure they don't. Wow. Two women had a child Sounds to me like he suffered depression anyway long before the pregnancy and birth. Nothing to do with postnatal depression. What next? Menstruating men. Can some men please tell me the triggers for post natal depression in men? No one seems to know what triggers it? We know it isn't hormones so its more lifestyle and environmental reasons?
Jesus christ we are screwed if we ever have to rely on conscription in the future. Smack a condom on it JonathWebst It's real. Ummm My god!! More exclusive news from SKY. !!! Were have all the MEN gone I actually find this incredibly disrespectful to women and the physical and emotional battles they have to endure both before and after pregnancy. Yes, men suffer with mental health issues, but it’s physically impossible for us to suffer with PND.
Grow up for God's sake. Hopefully he keeps up his pelvic floor exercises too, nothing worse than having a slack vagina at the same time you're acting like one. Pathetic, get a grip and grow a pair! Poor excuse for a father to make. You have a responsibility to be strong and help the mother of your child, not feel self virtue signalling pity. 🙄
Oh, ffs.... Stop looking “down there “ when your child is getting “out” and you will be just fine . Go to feel sorry for that baby ... Pathetic, snowflake, worry-about-everything, entitled, bed-wetters...what are humans turning into?...people need to get on and live life, instead of worrying about every single that might or might not happen...jeez
Ffs. What a sad world we now live in It's the first time I've ever hears about this seems that it's cool nowadays to be depressed about almost anything 🙄🙄 FFS. Unfit to be a parent from outset. FFS 🤦🏻♂️ They’re not men and they’re not fit for fatherhood. What a tosser. The world is going mad. get a fucking grip or dont have any
Designer stubbled Snowflake males have lost the ability to be men. This is what society wanted, to eliminate gender identity, so now women are having to take over every role whilst their Snowflake pathetic male 'partners' are left crying Oh thats actually called 'I'm so fucking jealous of the baby getting all the attention' 🙄
The world is going mad Oh, please... probably because they’re not the centre of attention anymore - the mum and baby are. I miss the good old days when men paced up and down in the waiting room and handed out cigars. Don’t have kids if you’re not ready for it. It’s a 24/7 job/responsibility. A name or should I say an excuse for everything these days, pathetic!
suck it up buttercup and grow a pair!! Are you flipping kidding me😁 in the first 4 months you don't have time to be depressed,that baby needs fed and nappy changed every 2 hours. It is a shock to the system,you just have to get on with it. I didn't suffer depression when I had my son, but I was so close to. I'd sit through the night awake and mayb get about 2hrs kip before work the next morning. Shit made me swore never to have kids again. The stress was so unbareable, that the thought of newborn gave me anxiety.
This is crazy. Think about his wife having to go through 9 months pregnancy and then the labour and then at the end of it to find out that your husband is basically a lily livered, attention seeking waste of space. Having a child is one of the most life altering things that can happen to someone, and its fucking tough sometimes, I know I've struggled sometimes, and I've felt like a bad dad to my son. We may not go through the physical changes mothers do, but if you think it's easy, it ain't
I quite agree Big possibility he’s a remainer and labour supporter you know the ones who haven’t stopped crying since 2016 its a shame for him He getting paid leave? My wife and I have 3 kids and never felt depression. If anything I was overjoyed each time and couldn't wait do the things fathers do. These men balls haven't dropped yet, they need to man up and take care of their wife and baby instead of acting like a batch
Bollox Funny comments Depression, not post natal depression Ok. Stick it to the end of the list of things we need to urgently address. Seriously fuck right off. No problem Granny can wait another year for her hip operation Cue people saying ‘it’s fake, men don’t get depressed. Grow a set and do what real british men do, get tatoos of the union flag and go down the pub to talk about how Ar Tommeh is a hero!’
Ok Darren! Or, he can get a grip. Contradictions of men and women definition in the liberal world. Male post natal depression? Do males give birth, now? Of course it will. Makes sense, it's a huge life change. Hmmm there’s a lot to unpack here. Start with, let’s fucking care about the women who just grew and birthed the child without the added stigma of ppd. Second of all, shut up.
christ, get a grip, ffs. so much weakness in western society. Some awful comments on here. And so naive. The ‘grow a pair’ and ‘fkin snowflake’ style goes to show just how ignorant some people are. The replies to this is just embarrassing. There's men who suffer from depression cause their favourite sports team can't win. Do you honestly believe that same level of emotion can't be made between you and your own child as well as the added pressure of balancing work again?
Prevention is better than cure. Don’t breed. Bet he uses face moisturiser after a shave too! Sissy men these days! If we ever get another war, they’ll be issued with mirrors and make up, and go crying for mummy! Grow a pair....poof! Lol him reading these sympathy posts 😩 Grow a pair Don’t have children Damn, the comments to this...there is a reason the biggest killer of British men is suicide.
Snowflakes everywhere. I’ve lost a daughter aged 15,lost a father to SADS,the wife’s got her spine screwed together and the cats just been sick in my shoe. F*ck off and get on with it.Your baby needs a father not a flannel. Holy mother of Devine God 🙄 Strong men create good times Good times create weak men Weak men create bad times ⬅️ 2020 Bad times create strong men Repeat.
Ah what a wet bellend!!!! Bet his other half has enough to deal with without this self centered donkey... Dear God. soyboy Omg Man up. Women and children first imo
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