Falling in love at the end of the world

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After the death of her partner to cancer, Ella Risbridger wasn't expecting new love – then she dipped a toe into a dating app during Covid, and a year of miracles began.

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. It had been magic, me and him, almost all the way through. Even after he was diagnosed with cancer, he had managed to make miracles happen all the time. You don’t expect to get a second chance at something like that, and especially not when you’re locked inside your house and it’s illegal to go anywhere.had made me a profile, and I had only activated the profile because the world was ending.

“I opened up the app when everything else was shutting down. It seemed like a pretty safe time to fail, and I wasn’t sure what I had to lose” The thing was, I had been sort of hoping for a miracle that would sort out the whole conundrum of my romantic life. I really didn’t want to never kiss anyone again, but I didn’t want to try and make someone kiss me. That felt like a betrayal of everything that had happened before. Also, and this was even worse, I was scared. I was scared that I was too obviously damaged – and not in a ‘cool’ way.

I was scared that I was going to fail at the dating app; that if I tried, everyone would know I had tried, and that would in some weird way be humiliating. I think a lot of peopleBut back in 2020, it seemed like the world was ending and no miracle was coming, so that was why, when it came to it, I opened up the app when everything else was shutting down. It seemed like a pretty safe time to fail, and I wasn’t sure what I had to lose.

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