Does not wanting to date a bisexual man make you a bad person?
For me, the mere mention of my ex-boyfriend has been enough to get me ghosted.
Feb 3, 2019 at 2:08am PSTI’m also certainly not the only bisexual man to deal with this. Manuel has identified as bi since his early twenties."When I was 21, I started to date this woman who was 10 years my senior. Things moved on really fast, and we got intimate basically on our first date. After our first sexual encounter, we began talking about relationships and attractions. I told her I was not only sexually attracted to women, but to men too. Her expression instantly changed, it was just like she had been slapped across the face.
"Her biggest concern was that I could give her a STI.The relationship soured soon after me coming out to her, and things ended a couple of months later." Manuel experienced rejection because of his sexuality a number of times throughout his twenties by"women who told me they couldn't kiss a guy whose mouth had sucked another dude's dick." Finding this tiresome, he eventually decided to stop approaching and dating straight women.
"Her expression instantly changed""When I was single and on a date with a woman, the idea that I would open up about my bisexuality was a touch risky," bi man Chris tells me."Many times the subject dominated the date and could plant all sorts of negative vibes in the girl. One or two times it's flat out ended things. Strangely, it's always the case bisexual men are regarded as 'gay in waiting'. Having to constantly explain yourself and your motives for having same-sex attraction is boring, and dating is normally much more fun when it's not the focus."
Ashley says he's struggled to develop relationships, despite being attracted to people of more than one gender."Yes there’s been physical contact and close friendship, but no one has ever taken my interest in women seriously," he explains."And where I developed any connection with a woman, it was always as if they immediately see my bisexuality as a barrier.”
So, are these women bad people? Does not wanting to date a man because he is bisexual biphobic? The truth is, when fighting for equality we have to be realistic. Calling everyone who says something we don’t like “phobic” does relatively little to change hearts and minds. And sadly, if I believed everyone who didn’t want to date a bisexual was a bad person, I’d have no friends.
Tom DingleyIt can also become dangerous if you insinuate anyoneshouldfind someone attractive. So what's key here is the intent - and what it all comes down to is thereasonyou wouldn’t date a bisexual man.If you wouldn’t date a bisexual man because you think he’s secretly gay and not being honest about his sexuality, would cheat, will never be satisfied by one person, or is an STI risk, then yes - the votes are in, you’re buying into
harmful bisexual stereotypesbased on prejudice and biphobia.If you wouldn’t date a bisexual man because he’s just not your cup of tea, and on a primal level he just doesn’t make you tingle, then that’s fine. Read more: Cosmopolitan UK »
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