Lifestyle Editor's Choice, Family, Relationships, Love &Amp, Friendship, Marriage

Lifestyle Editor's Choice, Family

Dear Richard: 'I’m tired of my tardy wife using me as her excuse to cancel plans'

As The Telegraph's Agony Uncle, I weigh in on your dilemmas – the good, the bad and the ugly

8/1/2021 7:08:00 PM

'Am I right to feel miffed about this, or should I just accept it?' Find out what Richard Madeley has to say 👇

As The Telegraph's Agony Uncle, I weigh in on your dilemmas – the good, the bad and the ugly

Lately though she has taken to flatly making things up. A recent example was cancelling lunch with some girl friends because I “wasn’t happy about her going out with the pandemic flaring up again”. I had said nothing of the sort.Leaving aside the fact that these excuses are made to friends who surely ought to accept her as she is, am I right to feel miffed about this, or should I just accept it?

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– Robert, BucksDear Robert, Take my arm. Walk with me awhile. Now turn around and view your marriage from a distance. See it in perspective. If this is the worst aspect of your relationship, you’re a lucky man.Look, I get that being the scapegoat for cancelled appointments and late arrivals is wearing, especially if your wife is upping the ante and using your imagined failings as her convenient excuse more and more often. It sounds to me as if an informal arrangement between the two of you (admittedly not one that you’ve ever been that happy with) is getting out of hand.

So pick your moment and, without heat, ask her to ease up a bit. Point out one or two of the more egregious examples of late, and tell her that it’s beginning to get on your nerves.Don’t expect her to accept your argument on the spot because she will probably be defensive and move swiftly into denial. But this isn’t about redressing past unfairness; it’s about modifying what happens in future. All you need to do is put the suggestion into her mind that she may have begun taking you rather too much for granted, and things should improve. Good luck!

Read more: The Telegraph »

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