As someone who was adopted as a baby, I'm here to tell you that no child should be treated like an unwanted Christmas gift, no matter how much trauma we come with

“Adoption is not like pick-n-mix.'

Opinion, Lifestyle

12/3/2021 10:34:00 PM

As someone who was adopted as a baby, I'm here to tell you that no child should be treated like an unwanted Christmas gift, no matter how much trauma we come with.

“Adoption is not like pick-n-mix.'

I was never a ‘perfect child’, and in many respects, I certainly do not live up to some expectations that were set for me at a young age. My mum wanted me to be a lawyer, live at home in Hong Kong, and live up to the ideal of a ‘perfect Chinese daughter’. Instead, I am a journalist living in the U.K, miles away from being a ‘perfect Chinese daughter’ but this isn’t a reason for abandonment.

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Bradford also said: “It’s ironic that we have done so much to give those children a better life, and yet when it goes wrong, we are unsupported, and we can’t speak out.”, arguing that there is a taboo faced by people who go through “failed adoptions.”

The “stigma” that Bradford says she has faced for her decision is well and truly justified.Her rhetoric, and the framing of her situation by the BBC, suggests that she is a kind-hearted person who fell victim to the failures of the adoption and care system, with her distress being more paramount than the care deserved by her child. headtopics.com

Centring herself in the narrative, she did not mention how her son reacted to being ‘left behind’ again, forced back into care after eight years with who he thought was his “forever family”. She adds that she “is still his mum”, and that the family stay in regular contact with him. But children, whether adopted or biological, should not be treated this way.

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The “stigma” that Bradford says she has faced for her decision is well and truly justified: adopted children should not be treated like a crappy gift from a distant relative, we can’t be sent back for store credit.Read More“This wasn't how it was supposed to be”

ByLuciana BelliniWe deserve respect and we deserve to have loving families who will support us through ups and downs, just like you would a biological child. If a biological child was acting out and exhibiting “behavioural issues,” you would likely seek counselling or behavioural adjustment therapy, perhaps send them to a new school with more structure, or a number of other solutions – you wouldn’t give them away or leave them to fend for themselves.

Adopted children should not be treated differently – when an adoptive parent signs on the dotted line agreeing to care for that child, they become yours for life.Parents face a myriad of issues from their children, which can involve drinking, drugs, teenage pregnancy, bad grades, stealing, or anything else they may disapprove of. What they do in such situations is individual to the needs of the parent and the child, but I would bet that the majority of parents out there would stand by and support their children unconditionally, if they can, because that’s their child. Adopted children should not be treated differently – when an adoptive parent signs on the dotted line agreeing to care for that child, they become yours for life. headtopics.com

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As an adoptee who definitely ticked off almost every box on the ‘difficult teenager’ checklist, I cannot be more thankful that my adoptive parents did not make the same decision as Bradford. I often stayed out all night drinking, would shoplift for the thrill, and have experimented with drugs. But, not once did they ever consider ‘sending me back’ because I was their child, for better or for worse.

Read MoreIn the UK, almost half of women who start out breastfeeding have stopped by six weeks.ByLuciana BelliniThere are so many families in the UK who want children and I’m sure many of them would find Bradford’s decision abhorrent as they would do anything to have a child, including one that may have a disability or be neurodivergent, like her son. But, unlike most of them, she gave up on helping her child overcome the challenges that he faced.

Read more: British GLAMOUR »

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