It’s true that 2020 was a year full of surprises, but I never expected to find love through a dating app I once met up with someone, and as soon as I said hello, the person I was with looked embarrassed to be seen with me – just because I was in aI had dates where it was so obvious they didn’t know how to react to my chair, even though they knew in advance.
In December 2020, aged 25, my mum encouraged me to join the dating site Match.com after I’d admitted to losing all my confidence in dating. I’d heard it all before, so I rolled my eyes and clicked ‘block’ on their profile. While it saddened me to read messages like that, and I knew it wasn’t worth my time responding, I felt deflated. Why should I keep being the target for trolls, all because they couldn’t accept me as a disabled woman?
I knew that a picture featuring my wheelchair would result in uncomfortable conversations, asking why I was in the chair and if I could have children. I’d had those questions asked before, and they did nothing to help build my confidence. I felt like I was just someone to poke fun at, especially when I grew tired of finding wheel puns amusing.This time, I decided to wait until I had chatted to the other person a bit first and sussed out their personality before sharing my disability.
When we matched, neither of us knew that we both had cerebral palsy. After an hour of messaging, he sent me a message saying: ‘I have something to tell you,’. When he told me, my response was: ‘Oh my gosh, so do I.’ When I found out it was a major relief, like all my dating anxiety had drifted away. It felt like, finally, someone understood me.
The first time we met was on July 9 2021, we went for dinner, and not a single moment went by where it didn’t feel as if we hadn’t been doing this for years. I was already in love with him by the time we met in person. He knew me like the back of his hand, as I did him before we even said ‘Hi’ in person. He is my soulmate, and now, the one person I couldn’t see myself without. We’ve been together officially now for seven months.
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