Squirting, for the uninitiated, is when liquid is expelled from the vagina in a short, sharp burst during arousal or orgasm. It's is sometime referred to as 'female ejaculation' as it's somewhat similar to the way people with penises orgasm.
There’s a widespread mistruth that squirting is pee. Well, newsflash: it’s not. There’s a lot of misinformation – and misogynistic-leaning ridicule – out there about squirting, but contrary to popular belief, it’s not a false sexual phenomenon – it just feels phenomenal.
While squirting doesn’t always occur for all women and people with vulvas – in fact studies suggest it only happens for between 10-54% of us - the feel-good sensations can be pretty much guaranteed. For some it takes a lot of work to hit the right spot: maybe you’ve experienced a one hit wonder, while for others it happens on the first go and every time after. G-spot stimulation is a great way to up your foreplay game, as well as increasing the likelihood of squirting.
So now let’s get to the good stuff: how do you make someone squirt? We spoke to sex educator and Soft Paris co-founder Anne-Charlotte Desruelle and certified sex expert and educator for Bedbible.com Isabelle Uren to get the juice.
How to squirt
While there's no sure-fire way to squirt, being relaxed and stimulating the G-spot are the two best methods.
"The most important thing about exploring squirting alone or with a partner is to leave your expectations at the door!" says Uren, "Putting any pressure on yourself or your partner to squirt can cause performance anxiety and actually decrease your chances of it happening."
The G-spot is a patch of textured flesh, located on the vaginal wall, 0.5 to 2 inches from the entrance. When stimulated to the point of orgasm, fluid is released from the vagina is located near the end of the urethra. The build-up to the big O can feel super intense – commonly compared to the urge to pee, but instead of peeing, you experience a deliciously intense orgasm.
"What we now know about the g-spot indicates that the feel-good sensations we associate with this area are, in fact, coming from stimulating the internal clitoral structure through the vaginal wall. This means that it's more of a sensitive area than one specific spot, and its exact location and sensitivity will vary from person to person," notes Uren.
Desruelle suggests three golden rules for squirting in her guide:
- Take your time
- Find your G-spot and stimulate it
- Be patient - and check your expectations at the door!
"Go into this with a sense of curiosity and playfulness and if it happens, it’s a nice surprise, but if not, you still will have had fun!" adds Uren.
1. Relax
It’s time to get comfortable! First up, get rid of all the tension in your body, ensure that you’re not going to be disturbed and leave yourself plenty of time. For extra peace of mind, you may also want to “waterproof” the area by putting down several towels beneath you.
2. Locate your G-spot!
"There's no scientific consensus as to why g-spot stimulation can lead to squirting, but for many people who squirt, this does seem to be a common trigger," says Uren. So, if you've never squirted before and are looking to find out what works for you, this is the place to start.
To find your G-spot:
- Sit on the floor and bend your knees with a mirror between your legs. If you need, open your labia.
- The G-spot can be found within the vagina, around 0.5 to 2 inches from the entrance, on the vaginal wall towards the stomach.
- Place a finger into your vagina and curl it upwards towards your belly button.
- There should be a patch of flesh like the surface of a golf ball, or the skin of an orange.
Uren recommends using 'a firm, curved dildo or wand' to "make it easier to find the right angle and provide a deep massage, but if you don't have either of those you can also use a finger or two."
Best G Spot sex toys
3. Stimulate your G-spot
Softly and slowly stimulate the G-spot. Keep in mind that this isn’t a race or performance and be sure to go at your own pace.
- Lube, lube, lube! We can’t undersell the importance of lots of lubricant. In addition to making the experience loadsss better, it will also lessen the risk of soreness, pain or injury.
- Opt for a water-based lube (it’s true that silicone lubricant can be longer-lasting, but the downside is that they can't be used with all condoms and silicone toys).
- Stimulate your G-spot with your fingers or use a G-spot vibrator that has the right angle to hit your G-spot. A G-spot vibrator can make the zone more easily reachable, which means it’s more easily stimulated.
Best Lube
As your G-spot gets stimulated and you start feeling more aroused, the erectile tissue will fill with blood and the G-spot and the labia will get larger. Keep in mind that parts of the G-spot may feel sore, so take care to stimulate the sore parts gently.
"Some people also squirt from clitoral stimulation, so it's all about finding out what works for you. On the whole, it seems most people need more intense stimulation to squirt," suggests Uren.
"Another thing to keep in mind is that squirting can happen with an orgasm or separately."
4. Listen to your body
Be conscious of the different sensations in your body and alter the pressure accordingly. Keep in mind that it should feel pleasant. Uren says: "Try to relax your pelvic floor muscles as your arousal builds. It can help to take deep breaths or bear down slightly with your pelvic floor muscles."
For many people with vulvas, ejaculation will only take place after the vulva and G-spot have filled with blood become larger.
Because the ejaculate originates from the urethra, feeling like you need to pee is a move in the right direction. "If you feel like you need to pee, try not to tense up but let that sensation build and give in to it. Rather than relating it to urinating, try to notice the specific sensations. Does it feel like heat, tingling, pressure or something else?" says Uren.
Some people only squirt when the G-spot is being stimulated (for example, via penetration), for others, it's the opposite and takes place when the vagina is not being penetrated, so it you may need to try a few different things to find what works for you.
How to squirt during sex
Squirting isn’t just for solo play, you might want to incorporate squirting into partnered sex too. This can could either be your partner making you squirt, you making them squirt - or both!
How to find a partner's G-spot
"Insert a well-lubricated finger or two inside their vagina and curl them towards their belly button. Here you can start slowly stroking the front wall of their vagina. The partner being stimulated, will need to give their partner feedback about whether they are in the right spot and how much pressure they should use," says Uren.
And remember, asking for directions is encouraged. They may already know where their G-spot is and be able to guide you. Even if they don't, be sure to keep communication following so they can tell you what feels good - and what doesn't.
Sex positions for squirting
If you're with a man, penis-having partner, or using a strap-on, try cowgirl or doggy style sex positions.
If you're having sex with a man, penis-having partner, or using a strap-on, try out the cowgirl or doggy style sex positions.
Cowgirl allows you to be in complete control over both body and feeling, making it easier for you to feel your way to your G-spot.
Doggy style positions give your partner the chance to apply pressure on the frontal vagina lining, increasing the opportunities for G-spot stimulation.
And, lastly, remember that squirting may happen on your first attempt or it may take a few years… The most import thing is to be at ease with your body and ditch any expectations!
"You might also find that you can't squirt, and that's totally ok, and it has no bearing on the quality of your sex life! It's important not to take the pleasure and fun out of sex by trying to perform!" says Uren.
