If you've been looking for something new to do in the bedroom, either solo or with a partner, you might have heard about ASMR sex or sexual ASMR. But what actually is it? ICYMI, ASMR aka Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response burst onto our radars a few years back when YouTubers started whispering into their microphones and we suddenly all realised how bloody therapeutic it was.
"ASMR often creates what people commonly describe as a 'tingling' sensation and associated feelings which are triggered by a specific audio or visual cue," says LELO's Sex and Relationship expert Kate Moyle.
"The triggers vary hugely from person to person, but commonly reported feelings and responses are of feeling very relaxed, peaceful or comforted," Moyle added.
So what is ASMR sex and sexual ASMR?
Given how relaxed ASMR can make us feel, it makes sense that people have started using it during sex.
"Sexual ASMR is the erotic use of specific visual and auditory triggers to enhance sexual experience," explains Dr Shirin Lakhani of Elite Aesthetics, "for some people this may be that a sound such as whispering triggers what is often known as a 'brain orgasm.'"
"Sexually, it’s a kind of personal attention that shows close attunement. It’s flirting with intimacy," adds Charlotte Fox Weber, Psychotherapist and co-founder of Examined Life.
"Sex is about so much more than intercourse," Weber points out, "It’s about pleasure, sensation, feelings, fantasies, playing. ASMR creates a zone of excitement and titillation."
Why is sexual ASMR so popular right now?
Weber reckons sexual ASMR's popularity is all to do with the strange and somewhat isolating times we find ourselves living in after the pandemic. "In this dystopian era, we crave stimulation, attention, connection," she says, "sounds and sensations give us something. We are so disconnected, so far away from tactile experiences, so it makes perfect sense that sexual ASMR is increasingly appealing."
Similarly, Moyle points out "we are always looking for new ways to escape the hectic nature of our everyday lives and switch off, and when ASMR works for people it can be a very effective trigger for getting them to relax and focus on themselves and being in the moment."
What are the benefits of sexual ASMR?
Dr Lakhani explains that to really feel the positive effects of sexual ASMR, you'll need to try out a few different types.
"The key to using it to enhance your sex life is to find a trigger sound that works for you," she says "these can be any number of things from the sound of your partner whispering, to the sound of a shower running, to a scratching noise to blowing, and so on. The list really is endless and very much down to personal preference."
"Sexual ASMR can help you to relax and to reduce anxiety in the bedroom," Dr Lakhani adds, "the benefit is that once people find a type that works for them they can incorporate it into their sex life to make it more exhilarating and fulfilling."
LELO's Kate Moyle agrees, saying "like anything when it comes to our sex lives, it's about finding what works for us."
And are there any negatives of sexual ASMR?
Moyle explains that with sexual ASMR, and sex in general ofc, variety really is the *spice* of life.
"Investing in our own pleasure and getting to know our bodies is a good thing for our sexual wellness; but it's good to try and maintain variety and not feel completely reliant on one thing, medium or type of stimulation to get us to a place of sexual satisfaction," she says.
And when it comes to sexual ASMR, it seems you can have too much of a good thing, according to Dr Lakhani.
"The prevalence of ASMR videos online has sparked suggestions that watching too many of them could be desensitising people who get pleasure from them," she says, "and, just as drug users may become desensitised to drugs over time, some experts believe that ASMR YouTube videos may be killing the 'brain orgasm' for ASMR fans, reflecting a growing phenomenon known as ASMR immunity."
So there you have it! Brb, just off for a brain orgasm...
