What Is 'Love Bombing'?

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It's a relationship red flag 🚩

In healthy adult romantic relationships, support, desire and affection tend to be reciprocal. But in cases of love bombing, attention flows in a single direction — one person tries to become the other's whole world.

This is one analogy that Chitra Raghavan, a professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, used to explain how romantic behaviors can transform into a manipulative dating practice known as “love bombing”: lavishing a new romantic partner with grand gestures and constant contact in order to gain an upper hand in the relationship.

“It’s very exaggerated, histrionic, but could also be seen as deeply seductive and romantic, depending on what happens in between, what happens after,” Raghavan said.It may seem sweet that your new mate wants to spend all of their time with you. But more often, it’s a red flag: The person may be a narcissist trying to isolate you from the other connections in your life as a way of exerting control.

“It’s part of the idea of excess and overwhelming the person so that they’re swept off their feet,” she said, adding that the “constant attention, flattery, seduction, gifts” make it hard “to process that you’re overwhelmed. And when you’re overwhelmed, you don’t see danger.” Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at the University of California, Davis, whose research examines how people initiate and commit to romantic relationships, noted that not all grand gestures should be red flags.

 

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